#ill feel bad if someone ive told already asks and they have to hear me go into excruciating detail about everything again
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m00ngbin · 7 months ago
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Ack help my mcr special interest is grabbing me and shaking me it's gnawing on my brain it's killing me it's the only thing I'm going to think about today
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djtommotomlinson · 1 month ago
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last november i was in china when my little brother called me and told me to come home. over summer my nan, my mums mum, had passed away before i had managed to get back to see her and my mum, my best friend in the world, had a heart attack soon after. i was with her then. we went to the funeral. she got better. we saw robbie williams live. we went out drinking and to the beach and watched coyote ugly and la la land together, our fave movies.
when my brother called me to tell me mum had cancer i knew it was bad. i lost my best friend to cancer when we were just 16 years old. thats never a good word. but its my mum. and to quote her days after her own mums death 'i always knew one day my mum would die but i never knew she would, like, actually die'.
i knew in the back of my head why i was going home but i didnt believe it. i watched spiderverse for like the third time on the plane. i went to grab my suitcase and laughed when i realised i was at the wrong shanghai - gatwick conveyor belt. who knew there were two at almost the same time.
then my brother, my baby brother, who is 30 next year but was 28 and always our baby brother, called me and my life is never ever going to be the same. i knew the moment he called. and i sat on the floor at gatwick airport shaking and people kept coming over to ask if i was okay and finally my sister and my aunties, my mums sisters, arrived and they were let into the baggage area when they explained and picked me off the floor.
i dont think this is a grief that has settled yet. i was meant to see louis that night. i havent listened to a song by him since despite his music getting me through some of my hardest times. my denial, she'll walk through the door and say this was all a joke, phase went on for months after we planned and executed a funeral and wake on the beach in malta. i made a great playlist, i wrote a great eulogy. i did that but it didnt properly sink in why.
i still, almost a full year on, wake up and think about messaging her to tell her how im feeling and check in on her.
my mum used to send me one direction news she found on facebook every day. harrys got a new album emmy did you know? and i was like no mum wow thank you (of course i already knew). she loved niall and we were going to see him live together. she wasnt a big fan of louis' music but ached for what he'd been through. i woke up the day after hearing about liam expecting a text from her checking in because she got me 1d tickets in 2014 for my 23rd birthday and she brought me merch and the dvd of the movie -
my mum who hated the beatles because they were too mainstream but loved what i loved because i loved it and was passionate about it. god she would have been crushed for me today. she would have been heart broken.
and i think this has hit me like a train not only because everyone who knows me knows how much i loved liam as if he was my own friend, but also because this past year has been so full of grief i dont always know how to get out of bed. my dads mum passed a few months ago. my family are wrecked with it. this past year has been a nightmare we can't get out of.
i always related to liam as someone who was bullied at school and as someone who suffers from mental illness and has suffered from alcoholism, thankfully, for me, something ive managed to come back from and im sober and i always hoped for that for him. its such a hard fucking mountain to climb and i didn't have to deal with the fame side of it and this whole other thing he had to carry. i always wanted him to get better but in the back of my head i had this feeling, i had this fear that i would one day log into tumblr and see the worst.
i still cant, and im sure for a long time won't, believe this real. thats one of my boys. we were very much meant to get old together. i wanted to see him get better. i cant begin to comprehend the fact he wont have that chance. this still doesnt feel real to me man. thats my boy.
just a few days ago I was in a convenience store and they were playing heart meets break and i was jamming and excited to hear my boy in a store. i keep remembering its happened, and i look at the photo on my bedside of me and my mum at the robbie williams concert and i could really do with her right now. a link to a facebook article and her over use of emojis - a shocked and crying face and a broken heart. because what else can express this?
i know i didnt know him but i always had the comfort of knowing of him, of listening to his music and watching his videos and feeling less alone in a cruel and lonely world.
its okay to be a fucking mess, if you can take time out please do. i wish this world allowed more of that. after my mum everyone had to go back to jobs and life and it still blows my mind that i was walking down the street then and today and everything was the same. the world should pause but it doesn't.
at the end of all of this, one day this might settle and make sense but right now it doesnt at all and thats how these things work. i love you all, this is not something i thought we would have to face until we had all grown old and spent all of our money on reunion tickets and seen our boys grow old and live their lives.
give people you love a hug, tell people you love that you care about them, work out problems and differences if you can and make the most of it. you never know how much time you have.
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jayzissleppy · 1 year ago
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i'll wait forever..
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 🫧 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
includes ; hongjoong x reader, your ex boyfriends brother trope, hongjoong has been in love with you for months, confessions, fluff and a little speck of angst pet names: princess
a/n ; i literally wrote this on call with my friend while we were just fooling around writing diary entry's and i decided to edit and publish it !
words: ___
summary: your boyfriend seongwha cheated on you hours before and you thought you needed some air, so while you sat on your porch at night taking in the silence, you received a visitor.
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you sat out on the porch of your house. you needed air, and a lot. this would probably be the most agonising night you'd ever have... he cheated. seongwha cheated.. and not with just anyone... the girl he told you not to worry about.
while zoning out with the cold air and silence you heard a knock on the window and turned to see where its from..
"y/n.. are you okay?' it was hongjoong. seongwha's younger brother.
"did he send you here." you replied sternly. 
"no, i came here on my own"
"well you shouldn't have."
"i brought you your favourite snacks" he said lightly throwing a basket with a pink bow to your poarch. 
"...." 
"where my thank you?" he said.. i could hear the smile in his voice.. the smile that always taunted me when i was over... the smile i fell for. 
"thank you.."  
"so, can i come up?" he said already almost at top
"i dont mind.." you replied.
your breath hitched as he got closer to the top.. his blue hair glowing under the moonlight.. you immediately felt comfortable..you were safe with him.
"why are you crying, princess?" 
"hongjoong.."
he sat next to you, taking your face in both of his hands. 
"your going to be okay"
you cried.. cried.. and cried and who sat there for you while i cried. hongjoong..
"princess.." he said, you could hear the worry in his voice 
"dont cry over a man who didnt deserve you" 
"but he was the only man who made me feel like i was worthy of being loved.." you replied wiping your tears.
"i guess you never looked my way.." he lightly laughed.
"what.." you said, breathless.
"y/n.. ive been here, ive loved you. i love your smile when you look at me, even if it was as just friends.. i love the way your laugh echoes through the walls even if it wasnt for me. i love when you dress up for pretty dates, dates i only wish i took you on.. y/n. ive loved you."
"... hongjoong"
"i know this isnt the right time and im sorry but i cant let you cry over someone so shitty..you only deserve the best.. even if its not me. i was and forever will be lucky to have loved a girl like you"
"..hongjoong.."
"i know its bad but-"
"hongjoong!... let me finish.." you sigh "i regretted ever moment i stepped into that house and it wasnt for you, every time i got dolled up i thought how you'd react. i only came on somedays cause i knew seongwha wouldnt be home.. i came there for you."
"... your not kidding right?" he said shaking
"hongjoong.. im not ready to be in another relashinship yet and especially with my ex's brother, but.. if your ever willing to wait for me, please do.."
"ill wait for as long as you need, ill sit up and watch the moon dissapear and the sun rise, id wait till the end of the earth if it means i get to love you"
you take his hand in yours, his hands are freezing. 
"should we head inside?" you ask pulling him up off the ground
"id like that" he says with that loving smile on his face
*bzz...bzzz* 
hongjoongs phone screen lights up 
 .hwa is calling
you look up at him signaling he can answer
"where are you" seongwha asks
"why do you care.."
" you better not be with her"
"sorry but he is, i mean..why wouldn't he be." you say into the phone, ending the call.
you take his hand and lead him inside your room. 
"do you need a hoodie?, your freezing" 
"..."
"what are you looking at me like that for you"
"your..wow."
"what" you say giggling
"y/n, im being so serious right now, but i dont think i can wait. please. "
".."
you lean up and give him a quick kiss on his check.
"wait just a little longer?"you say smiling up at him. 
he tackles you onto your bed, digging his face into your neck gigling.
"ill wait forever for you"
note: i know this was short but im working on another book right now and i just wanted to leave t his here, please be nice with the criticism, i didnt have much motivation to write this, as i said i wrote it for fun on call with my friend, thank you for taking the time to read this !
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lonelyinkcap · 7 months ago
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unsent letters
1.
i forget how much i think about you
how you were the only one i had
sort of
and i was
the same to you
not by choice
im sure if we had better options
we never wouldve met
im not sure you positively impacted my life
after a year
i still dont know what to think
you told me things
i wasnt ready to hear
but it feels awful
to know how much i hurt you
because
even if it was circumstancial
and it wasnt all my fault
i was still the only one there
and i left you
i think if we met today
we might be better friends
ive learned some lessons
hopefully improved
id try harder
if we saw each other again
2.
i know ill never know
all that you dealt with
i know we hurt each other
but you arent ready to recognize that yet
you werent ready
in seventh grade
when you asked me out
you knew i didnt like girls
you knew i didnt like you
you hated me
at first
thought i had a crush
on my only friend
she was yours too
you knew you didnt have a chance
but you asked
because thats just what you did
i said id think about it
i wasnt sure
i didnt want
to ruin my social life
a couple weeks in at a new school
you asked me again the next day
if id made up my mind
i said yes
you smiled
and hugged me
and i felt happy
because you were happy
you told me not to tell anyone
you didnt want your parents
or your sister
to find out
i agreed
i wasnt ready either
the next day
we met before school
in front of the trophy case
like we did every day
you held my hand
led me out to the picnic tables
you told your friends
you called me your "girlfriend"
you knew i wasnt a girl
im not a girl
you asked me my pronouns
saw the pin on my bag
heard me say it in queer history class
i was never your girlfriend
i guess
your friends got excited
and told izzy
or you told your parents yourself
they didnt know you were bi
i suppose
it wouldnt have mattered
if youd bothered to correctly gender me
it was fine
they made us break up
i was fine
it was only
two weeks
we held hands
you leaned your head on my shoulder
i helped you take notes
none of that changed
i promised you we'd stay friends
and i felt happy
because you were happy
it was all fine
we stayed friends
we were fine as friends
seventh grade was passable
eighth rolled around
and
everything went downhill
it wasnt your fault
none of it was any one persons fault
you didnt tell me that you two started dating
until months later
and only mentioned it
because you thought i already knew
and i felt happy
because you looked happy
i dont think she was happy
and i dont think its entirely your fault
that no ones been happy with you
and id try to give you advice
say the thing everyone says
about these kinds of relationships
you need to love yourself as an individual before you can love someone else
and i would tell you
to try to take care of yourself
as an independent person
like you deserve
but id be a hypocrite
so instead
ill just hope
theres someone with you now
helping you the way i couldnt
3.
i dont think you did anything wrong
youre just... not the best friend for me
extroverts are hard, in that way.
i want to be close with you, sometimes i still think i can be.
but im not social or outgoing enough to keep up with it all
and im not so delusional to think that it'd work out.
i do think youre lovely
and i did used to love you
im not sure how much thats faded
i still care
but im willing to move on
i know you deserve friends. you deserve respect and kindness and joy
i hope you find it, wherever your path leads you
i know we weren't a great fit. i know youre too friendly, and im too clingy and possesive. youre talkative and i get overwhelmed
but i hope youve made a home in our new community
and you have better friends who can support you the way i didnt.
4.
you were. everything to me
i swear, that "were" isnt a bad thing. at least. its not your fault.
you were my best friend, my favorite person, my whole world
and you didnt become less important, i swear
its hard when your only friend feels miles away
when we dont talk much
and we never know what to do when we're together
i enjoy your prescence
you were the highlight of my life
probably my longest friendship
know that. you dont deserve it. when i tell you that i have someone i care about more
you are still my player two, my kalik, my tibby
i wish there was a way
for you to find better people
because i dont deserve all of your attention, when i cant give you all of mine
5.
i wish i didnt have to burden you. i wish my problems were lighthearted. or easy. i wish i could tell you what you wanted to hear. what you want to know.
i wish my secrets didnt weigh on our friendship. i wish i wouldnt go quiet so often in conversation.
i know you wouldnt believe me when i say that you deserve better
i know you would say you dont want better. trust me you do. you dont know how good it is to have people who are able to care
6.
i dont know what to do
because you make me want to die
you make me feel like everything i do
to try to fix myself
and to fix them
is for nothing
you dont deserve that
but i dont deserve to boil in this madness like i do every fucking day
i wish i knew how to speak up
7.
lucky number seven
saved the best for last for you
youre everything to me
the moon and the stars
the grass and the trees and the sky
but
you deserve better than me
so ill try to shape myself
into someone deserving
of you
im trying my hardest
i think
and i know you are too
i know it isnt healthy
but its better that we take care of each other
than no one at all
i hope
i hope you find happiness
i hope that even with
everything
all of this
i hope that in the darkness you find some semblance of light
i hope i can help
thats a bit selfish of me
but i hope youre okay someday
and that you know
you are loved
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kaz11283 · 4 years ago
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Of Course I'm Here
Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)
Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.
Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.
ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚
Loki Masterlist
~~~~~
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"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.
"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.
"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.
"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.
"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.
"One time, one dam-"
"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.
"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.
"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.
"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."
"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.
"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.
"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.
"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.
"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.
"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again
"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.
God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.
"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.
"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.
"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.
"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.
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"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.
Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.
"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.
"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.
"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.
"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.
"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.
"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.
"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.
You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.
"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.
"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.
"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.
When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.
"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.
"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.
"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.
"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.
"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.
"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.
"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.
"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.
"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.
"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.
~~~~~
Tag List:
@kgirardin
@sophlubbwriting
@supbeeches
@high-functioning-lokipath
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hivequest · 3 years ago
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Taking a Risk » Mallek Adalov/Reader
Wordcount: 2.3k words
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, stressed out reader, chillboy Mallek. TYping quirk only used when texting cause I could not be bothered lmao Originally posted on AO3
A/N: One of my favorite things that I’ve written, ever. I love Mallek and he’s for sure one of my favorite Friendsim characters. When I wrote this I was really feeling those Quarantine Woes
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You didn't know what you were doing here. You felt out of place in the worst possible ways. It was a weird, squidgy feeling like stepping on wet grass. But not like the fun kind where you were running around in a sprinkler on a hot-as-balls summer day. No, this was the bad kind of wet grass that you stepped on without knowing it was wet. Why weren't you wearing shoes?
This analogy is stupid. The point is, you're feeling bummed out.
And what better way to not have to deal with that than hang out with someone you knew wouldn't push you into talking about all the ways crashing on this planet sucked! The point is, you're on your way to see Mallek. Mallek is absolutely the kind of friend who can tell when you just need to sit down and veg out. You had been so caught up in everyone else's bullshit that you weren't looking after your own damn self. So now you were doing that.
All it took was a quick text, asking Mallek if he had any company. He texted back only a moment later with a no, obviously not. You asked him if he wanted any. Not really. You ask him if you can come over anyway. Obviously.
You smiled at the palmhusk in your, well, palm. You could already feel the chill vibes of your hacker friend. Friend? Was that the right word for it? You didn't know anymore. When you first met there were definitely some sparks there. You could still feel them now and it made weird butterflies flutter around in your stomach. When you slapped his phone out of his hand and he sent you ass over applecart into the slimy depths of sewer water and he saved you, tits out and all.
You shook off the weird wistful feeling of maybe possibly crossing the friendship barrier and told him you'd walk to his hive. You'd been moping in some bookhive, not your usual hang-out spot with Tagora or Tyzias. This was some upper caste bookhive with purple bloods and some indigos and definitely not where you were welcome if the looks you were getting were any indication. They ranged from snooty to downright murderous. Yeesh.
Your phone -palmhusk, stupid troll names- beeped again. You got another text from him and those cheery fucking butterflies were back. God, you had it bad.
yeah were not doing that lmao;
im not going to let my robobuddy walk out in the sun
do you even know what time of day it =
just stay put ive already got your location ill pick you up;
And like a good little friendsimp. You park your ass on a chair and wait. You hadn't released your moping had taken up most of the night. But with the quick look around, yeah, no, this place was nearly empty by now. Just some older bluebloods trying to cram before their Ordeals and get shipped off-planet. Again: Yeesh.
You kept your ears open for the telltale sound of Mallek's limo. It was a sound you were getting used to these days. He always seemed ready to drop whatever coding shit he was working on to come to see you. You tried not to think too hard on what that might mean. No need to get your hopes up now. It's probably just your bad mood making you imagine some context where there's nothing. Yeah.
Damn, that shit hurted.
Just as you were about to add that to the reasons you were considering just screaming your lungs out who cares whose listening? you heard the wonderfully familiar sound of an approaching elongated scuttlebuggy. If that wasn't enough of a clue as to who the ride was for the quiet of the bookhive was very abruptly disturbed by a series of rhythmic beeps.
Holy shit was that the Tetris theme?
You shoved your palmhusk into your hoodie pocket and yanked the hood over your head. Even if the sun was only out a little bit you didn't want it anywhere near your freshly healed skin. You had no kind cowgirl to nurse you back to health right now if you got your asscheeks baked by the flaming death orb. You peeked your head out and even with the blinding light of Alternia's suns you could Mallek had opened the door and was waiting for you.
Aw. No, shit. You're in a bad mood don't get all heart eyes at him. Don't make it weird.
You took a few steps back into the bookhive, ready to make a run for it. You turn to a sitting indigoblood, who is just staring at you disdainfully for keeping the door open. You give her a two-fingered salute. Godspeed young cosmonaut. She gives you a one-fingered salute. Close the door you insufferable bulgebiter. Fair.
Taking a running start, you book it out into the heat of the Alternian sun and dive for the open car door. It's then that you realize he's halfway parked on the sidewalk to lessen the amount of time you'd have to spend in the sun. Aw. That also means that you came barreling like a cannonball at something that was like two feet out of the door. FUck.
Your face meets carpet and you can already feel the rugburn starting to set in. You hear a startled wheezy laugh from above you, a sound you know better than anyone else on this planet. You smile. It's not like you had any dignity to begin with.
You say hello to him as you peel yourself off of the floor of his car.
"Hey, there robobuddy. You stuck the landing this time," He smiles down at you as he reaches over you to shut the door, closing the space out from natural light and leaving you both lit by his colorful LEDs. You shrug and tell him you've been getting a lot of practice landing on your face these days. The look he gives you is still smiling but there's some level of disbelief at the dumbassery that is your whole existence.
"I know you can get yourself into it. Nothing too bad this time, though, right? No drones or broken bones?" He sounds concerned which is nice but he doesn't drown you with his concern. He leans back on the bench of his limo, keeping an eye on you as the vehicle begins to move on its own. You've been staying out of big messes but the little messes are starting to mess with you. He makes a sound of understanding the sounds as it comes from deep in his chest. Whoa. "Believe me, I've been there. Glad you're not cracking under it though."
He smiles and you can see his little fang and you can feel your heart melt a little. And also you're getting a bit teary-eyed and now Mallek looks alarmed. Shit. You try to quickly explain that you're fine, just, alien allergies am I right? He must be using some new air freshener to mask the musty smell of his limo. Since doesn't use it enough. Ha ha?
He isn't buying it.
With a rare show of cerulean prowess, he lifts you up off of the shitty car rug and sets you on the seat beside him. He feels uncomfortable and you can tell. Ah, goddammit you made it weird. You didn't mean to. Fuck. Fuck now you're feeling even worse. You thought you were starting to balance out. You're with Mallek now, shouldn't everything start to quiet down like it always does? Fuck. He doesn't say anything at first, just leans back against the seat and stretches his arms across it, letting you lean on him if you choose to.
...You choose to.
Your head finds itself somewhere between his shoulder and his collarbone, and you just. Shove your face there. Then scream.
To his credit, Mallek doesn't even flinch. He doesn't wince or shy away from you as you let out every bit of anger, sadness, and frustration out against his sweater. He just sits quietly, staring straight at the blacked-out windshield. You get the feeling he's needed to do this more than once.
Screw this planet. Screw everything about it that makes all of your friends suffer. Why can't you just get them away from all this bullshit?! Why do you have to deal with everyone's bullshit! You love them, you do but holy fuck they're looking to you like you can undo all the damage this place has done to them when you've got literally no god damn idea what's happening at any point ever!
And then, just like that, it fades into the background. Your throat hurts. Your head hurts and you think you might be crying. But it feels lighter. Better now that you've gotten some of that aggression out. You aren't like the trolls on Alternia. You can't kill people when you experience an Emotion™. But that doesn't mean you don't get pent up with rage.
Mallek realizes that now. He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and his left hand slowly moves down from the back of the seat the rest against your back. His thumb brushes against your back, the claw drawing little patterns against the fabric of your sweater. His sweater. He tries not to think his sign your chest. This isn't the time.
"Feeling any better?" He asks and you don't know how to answer. You kinda don't want to. But you nod anyways, and you feel some tension leave his body. You knew he was worried about you. You apologize for making him witness your meltdown but he just makes another deep-chested hum. "Nothing to apologize for. I got the feeling you weren't feeling great. I could tell from the texts, you didn't use nearly enough ugly emojis."
You scoff and smack a hand against his chest and once again you hear that wonderful laugh from him. Hey! Your purrbeast emojis are adorable, thank you very much! And you'll not hear another word of it or else you'll send him pictures of rocks and rocks exclusively. No more memes.
"Jokes on you I'm into that shit." You laugh and thump your head against his collarbone. You thank him for being with you when were needed it. And picking you up to make sure you didn't deal with it alone. You don't want to make it weird but...yeah.
He doesn't respond this time, just letting you both enjoy the silence and the comforting sound of the engine. You should almost be at Mallek's apartment by now. It's as you're settling in for the last bit of the drive that you notice that the limo isn't moving. And hasn't been for a while. Your head pops up in confusion and the little GPS display on the back of one of the seats says... yep.
You're already at Mallek's.
But then why is the engine still on? That can't be good for the environment. Do these things even run on gas or is it bugs? Bug gas? Gross.
You notice then that the rumbling is coming from behind you. Like. From where Mallek is sitting. He doesn't look away when you turn to him, just kind of tilting his head to the side with a little bit of a cerulean hue to his cheeks. Oh. Oh, the sound is coming from him. He's purring. That's.
That's adorable.
You feel yourself soften even more when he lifts his arms, silently offering a hug if you want it. Is this platonic? Is this more? You've never had too much trouble identifying what people wanted from you. (Debatable.) If was overtly flushed you could shut it down or divert it to something very much friends only. (Like your every exchange with Zebruh.) But did you even want to do that to your hackerman? You could feel yourself screaming, no, absolutely not. But at the same time, you didn't want things to change. You didn't want to make his issues any worse than they already were. He didn't have too much longer on the planet and you knew it would tear him apart.
But then he turned those blue eyes to you. He looked just as unsure as you were but he was willing to take the risk. He shoved himself so far out of his comfort zone for you and was asking you to be selfish. To want something for yourself and do something for yourself. Not put him or anyone else's wants first. Just your own. And so you did.
You crawled up into his lap, pressed yourself as close to him as you could and clung to him. His arms didn't hesitate to wrap around you and you could feel a shuddering breath from above you.
"We don't have to put a label on this... not yet. Or ever. Either way is chill with me. I just... yeah." He gave up with a little shrug of his shoulders but you knew what he meant. Unless you could find a way to fight fate he was going to go off-world. He was going to leave you and you doubted you'd be able to go with him. You'd probably get gored by a drone for even trying.
But even if it was just for now, just for a moment, you were going to take it. You were going to let yourself have something, have someone who would care for you no matter how long or short your time was. You'd take it. You had stomached some of the most horrible things on this planet but Mallek had always been a constant. And you got the feeling he thought the same way about you.
So, you'd take it. Whatever comes next, you'd take it. You listened to the sound of his purring, in no hurry to move to get inside the apartment. Mallek felt the same.
You exhaled.
You would be okay.
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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago
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Obikin Crisis AU Part Four
Read Previous Parts HERE
Star Wars AU #18
Obi-Wan made his way to the public training sallies, nodding in polite acknowledgment at the curious stares and double takes he garnered. At this point rumors of their appearance in this timeline had spread throughout at the temple. And while Anakin’s differences from ‘Ani’ were more stark at first glance, Obi-Wan clearly carried himself differently enough from ‘Obi’ that the contrast was obvious to anyone looking for it.
Anakin had waved him to go on ahead, promising to catch up, as he studied the news of all things.
He walked in to find his and Anakin’s ‘counterparts’ locked in a fierce duel. Which was what he was expecting to find, it was why he was there; he had been looking forward to comparing their dueling forms. 
But. 
Something about this just instantly put him on edge. Was it simply the strangeness of seeing himself duel from this angle? No, he had watched holo-recordings of himself before for training- there was... something else off putting about this.
Was, was Anakin showing off? It looked, well, different from how he typically showed off, less unnecessary flips and more...flexibility? Yes, that smirk accompanying the full-body split was definitely smug, but it was also decidedly different from any cocky look his Anakin had directed at him before. It was...weird. And made Obi-Wan a little uncomfortable.
And himself! At first he was mostly focused on the favoring of Ataru over Soresu- it was fascinating, but not entirely surprising. He had switched to the more defensive form in response to his failure to save Qui-Gon and his need to watch over a young padawan. It wasn’t shocking that without that impetus, this version of himself would instead continue to refine his mastery of form IV. He was briefly intrigued at the thought of pitting his form iii against his alternate in combat but was quickly distracted by other- irregularities in the form.
Brief puzzlement fell into recognition which dropped immediately into horror. This- he had to be mistaken. There was no way...
Oh sweet force, that was his most flirtatious fighting stance. And not casually flirtatious, either. That was- oh fuck he did the unnecessary-lightsaber-hold-readjustment with hair flick. He was watching himself do the LIGHTSABER HOLD READJUSTMENT HAIR FLICK COMBO at his padawan. With smile. Not the ‘Charming Negotiator’ smile, but the wouldn’t-you-rather-stop-fighting-and-do-something-more-interesting smirk. Oh gods, now he was doing the full body undressing-with-eyes-up-and-down-lookover. At his PADAWAN.
Fortunately he wasn’t quite close enough to hear what they were saying but judging by Ani’s flushed response it was definitely sexual.
He let out a strangled panicking noise and looked around wildly, expecting someone, anyone to intervene. But if any of the other casual combatants in the room were watching they were either oblivious to the depravity before them, or inured to it. He honestly didn’t know which would be worse. 
He began slowly backing up, unable to look away from the train wreck in front of him. This was- this was worse than that time Qui-Gon got drugged and started rhapsodizing about Master Tahl’s poise, and he hadn’t been able to make eye-contact with either of them for weeks after that! He stumbled out of the room and fell back against a wall, clutching his chest.
Before he could even regain his bearings, Anakin walked up. 
“Are you alright, Master?” He asked somewhat concerned.
Obi-Wan clenched his eyes shut, unable to even look at the innocent boy he had raised and apparently, in this universe, defiled.
“Oh yes, yes, I’m fine, perfectly fine,” Obi-Wan lied. “I was just- thinking about some of the, um, metaphysical implications of travel between universes. Anyway, why don’t we- why don’t we leave the temple for today? See if Dex’s is any better in this universe, what do you say?” 
He forced himself to open his eyes, resolutely staring past Anakin’s shoulder and trying to pretend as though his fundamental understanding of himself as a moral being hadn’t been shaken to the core.
“Um, as great as that sounds, Obi-Wan, we’re not really supposed to leave the temple for casual reasons? And we came to the dueling rings to compare our fighting styles with our selves, remember?” Anakin replied slowly. “Come on, I really want to spar ‘Knight Kenobi.’”
Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin’s arm, then let go quickly, pulling back as if burnt. “Absolutely Not!” he said in an overly high pitched voice.
“What?” Anakin said grinning. “Is this you really embarrassingly bad at fighting? I knew my prodigy lightsaber skills had rubbed off on you over the years.”
Obi-Wan winced. “Yes, yes that’s it exactly, I’m- I’m absolutely the worst in the reality, no need to go in there. Lets just, ignore Mace and go out in the city, come on now.”
Obi-Wan flapped his arms wildly at the man, unwilling to make unnecessary body contact after being forced to bear witness to...unnecessary body contact. 
Anakin squinted suspiciously. “Ok, I don’t know what exactly you’re so desperate for me not to see, but you do get that I definitely have to see it now.”
Anakin started to stride forward and Obi-Wan threw himself wildly in the way, shoving Anakin back. “Anakin! Don’t ask me to explain why, but please, for the love of the force, do not go in there.” 
Anakin got a gleam in his eye and Obi-Wan’s heart sank, realizing there was more or less nothing he could say at this point that would turn the man back now. 
“Anakin, don’t-” But it was too late, he had already leapt over Obi-Wan’s head and was now darting inside.
Obi-Wan ran after him, feeling ill. 
Anakin managed to make it halfway across the room before skidding to a halt and letting out a strangled squeak. Knowing he was going to regret it, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but follow his gaze. He gasped. Almost incredibly, the combat had gotten even worse in the minutes he had been out of the room. Both of them had inexplicably lost their sabers, and Obi had Ani pinned to the mat face down, arms trapped over ahead.
They were pressed together and panting.
Anakin  turned to his Master, looking frightened. “Obi-Wan, what-” he let out, slightly too loud.
Obi-Wan just threw his robe over his former padawan’s head in response and began dragging him away. “I told you not to look” he whisper-shouted.
At this point, their dramatics had gathered the attention of everyone in the room. Their alternate selves had jumped out and were watching them bewildered. 
“What is-” Obi tried to ask, but Obi-Wan cut him off, hysterical. “You just- you stay away from us!” he shouted. The dopplegangers exchanged a confused glance.
“Obi- uh, Obi-Wan, seriously, what-” the poor harassed twin of his young apprentice tried to ask, but they were already nearly out the door.
“I’M SORRY!” Obi-Wan shouted back. “I’M SO SORRY!”
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fakecrfan · 4 years ago
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POV: You wake up in the TMA universe at the start of season 1.
You find yourself on the streets of London, cold and confused.
You try to figure out what happened and get home. You discover the place you lived no longer exists. The place you worked no longer exists.
You try to call the numbers of family, friends, anyone you knew. Baffled voices that you don’t recognize answer you, and then hang up.
As you're wandering around the streets getting increasingly terrified, you pass by the Magnus Institute. Then, everything makes sense.
You hurry in and blurt out: "I would like to make a statement"
Rosie smiles politely.
“Alright, let’s get you the proper forms then.”
She tells you that the Archivist, Jonathan Sims, will see you in a moment. As you are waiting for him, you recall what happens to people who give statements to Jonathan Sims. Unceasing bad dreams. Unrelenting panic attacks. Enough that Jess Tyrell stopped being able to go out in public.
"Ah," you think. "I will not do that then."
You leave in a hurry. Outside, you realize:
oh, I'm the only one who can stop the apocalypse now, aren't i
You shiver. That thought can wait, you think. For now you need to find... somewhere to stay. You are effectively homeless. No, not effectively. You are straight up homeless.
You pull out your wallet to pay for food. Your card is declined. You try to use cash, only to be told it’s counterfeit. Everything is just a little too much to the left of your reality for you to navigate.
Finally you find social services of some kind. They ask for your information, including your NIN. you aren't surprised when they say the info they have on file for that number is.... not you. You are disappointed though.
They help you to a homeless shelter. You sit on your cot and cry self-pityingly for a bit, and then that pressure comes back to your mind:
The world is going to end. You know the world is going to end. You're the only one who can do anything about it.
You turn over and decide that's something you can deal with in the morning.
----
The next day, you think about it again.
"That's something I can deal with when I have an apartment," is what you think then.
So that becomes your next project. Finding your footing as a displaced person. Social services helps but it's... sporadic. It takes months for you to get more stable housing.
When you lie down on the couch of the new, well, new associate you've made, you once again remember that the world is going to end. That you are the only one who can do anything about it.
"I'll think about that when I get a job"
-----
Time continues to pass. As you are trying to get on your feet, you make feeble attempts to... start something.
You go to the Magnus Institute a few times. But it's hard. You've always had terrible social anxiety,. And everyone there seems so cold. You can feel eyes on your back: staring, watching your every move. Normally that alone is enough to make you quit for the day.
A lot of times, the main cast you remember is out doing research. When they are there, you are about to walk up and speak to them when the anxiety hits you again.
What if Elias sees you talking to them? What if he kills you?
You decide to retreat for a little while, then. Just to think of a better plan.
You spend the next month getting your first job in this new world. You start a timeline of when you think the apocalypse is going to happen, but remembering the canon dates is hard. It's not a very helpful timeline, and so you give it up.
Eventually you think the best thing to do is to wait until Elias has been arrested and then talk to the others. When Elias is in prison, he can't murder you for revealing your plans.
This means Sasha and Tim will die. But--they might have died anyway, even with your intervention. Who’s to say? Anyway, you’re not the one who will kill them. It’s not your fault.
You scan the news every day for things about the Magnus Institute, particularly the head of it getting arrested.
During this time, you do a little better. You have a nice apartment now, you think. Nice by your own standards, at least. You decorate the place a little. Get some video games that you like--or well, they aren't the same ones as in your world, but close enough you think?
Months pass.
One day it hits you that maybe the papers would never actually report on Elias being arrested.
Oh shit, you think.
You go back to the Magnus Institute then. By this point, Rosie recognizes you. She grants you the same expression one grants a wayward alley cat. You ask who the current head is. You are told "Peter Lukas."
Shit.
"Can I make a statement?"
Rosie looks nervous. "Um, the Archivist is on medical leave."
"Okay can I talk to one of his assistants?"
Rosie gets this very tired look in her eyes.
"I'll... ask."
Rosie phones the archives extension
it rings
it rings
it rings
"They've all really been through it recently," Rosie tells you. "They don't--like to talk to anyone else, now."
"I have to talk to them," you say. "Um, can you--can you tell Martin Blackwood specifically that I need to talk to him? That it's about Jon?"
Martin is--you like Martin. Martin will be nice and safe. He'll be easier to talk to than Melanie at this point, or Basira. Still, Rosie looks tired again.
"I'll have a chat with him," Rosie says. "How about you go home for now, and I'll call you when I've talked to him."
"But--"
You're bad at this. You were always bad at this. You can barely sign up for anything on your own. Your mother has done so many calls and filled out so many forms for you.
You never cultivated the skill of standing in a lobby and insisting to talk to someone. Maybe you'll just irritate Rosie and she'll blacklist you if you dig in your heels now. Anyway, you're already so tired from this. You think about going home, and playing some Medal of Honour IV.
"Fine," you say.
You go home. You play the game. You sleep.
You're not giving up, you say to yourself. You're just--biding your time.
Rosie does not call you.
It pains you, but you realize you have to go back in and ask to speak to someone again. You'll go today after work, you decide.
No, wait, you're too tired from work today. You'll go tomorrow.
Maybe on the weekend.
----
You finally go back
Rosie tells you she just--hasn't been able to get a hold of Martin.
"Fine," you say. "Any of the other assistants."
Rosie actually looks a bit worried for you. "Um, they're not--they don't take well to unexpected visitors. Let me wait and chat them up about it."
You do not listen this time.
You march down into the basement level where the archives are. The door is--well. Shit. It's barricaded? You knock. You keep knocking.
"Melanie! Basira!" you say. "I have to talk!"
The door opens too quickly. You barely get a glimpse of Melanie's snarl before she strikes and your vision goes white.
She hits you a few times. No knives, just fists. You hear Basira in the backround, barking for Melanie to stand down. Once there is an opening and you can blearily see again, you run away in terror.
It's not--you didn't intend to run. You were just afraid.
----
You go home, and realize that Melanie didn't even really hit you in a super serious way. Nothing that would warrant a hospital trip, at least. Nothing that has left you with a lot of pain, outside of the immediate terror of physical violence.
You probably could have stuck it out there. You should have.
You think about all the months--no, years now--that have passed without you making any progress.
"But that’s not my fault,” you say.
"I was having a really hard time. I was homeless. I've been struggling with my mental health. I still have to keep the rent paid and feed myself."
"It's not my fault. It's not."
"I will do something. Just--I need some more time."
You sleep.
You decide to wait a bit for your bruises to heal up before going back.
When you do drag yourself back to the Institute, now there is a PTSD reaction to going into the Institute on top of the social anxiety.
You leave quickly. Rosie looks so sad for you.
You do try to go back. You do try to get back in contact with the Archives, or go back when Jon is back up. But there's always something. Not something directly stopping you. Just--
Tiredness. Work. Illness. Doctor's appointments. Panic attacks. The Archives staff being unreachable.
The world is going to end. You're the only one who can stop it.
"That's not true though," you think. "I mean, technically anyone could. I just have a little more information that could help."
"It's never one person's fault," you tell yourself as you crawl into bed after another flight of anxiety struck you as you were about to cross the street to the Institute. "It's everything. It's--a whole system. It's Jonah's fault really. If I don't--I'm not to blame."
“I’m not to blame.”
----
You are playing Medal of Honour V when your phone lights up with a notification that there was an outburst of violence at a place known as the Magnus Institute, and billionaire Peter Lukas has disappeared in the confusion.
You should get up. It’s going to happen, and happen soon. You hand twitches on the controller.
You remember a quote you saw before you ended up here, on Facebook of all things.
"Don't wonder what you'd be doing in Nazi Germany. Whatever you're doing now, is what you would have been doing then."
Because bad things were happening in the world all the time, your preachy Facebook aunt said. There is always genocide, and famine, and war. It’s not some movie fantasy from the past.
You think about that. About the horrors in your world. Those movements that you retweeted support for and occasionally donated $5 to. The protests you awkwardly passed by on your way to work.
You quietly realize what kind of person you are. What you would have been doing in Nazi Germany, or the civil rights era in the U.S., or during the catastrophes in your own world, or right now.
It's what you were always going to do.
And so you get back to Medal of Honour V.
----
You're still dreading the apocalypse of course. It won’t be easy.  It will be around six months to a year of full on torture, specifically designed to be the worst you have ever felt. Something about that soothes you. Something about knowing you are a victim too, or maybe knowing that you’ll be punished.
But--it will end, and then you'll be alright. Everything will return to normal, and you can go back to your apartment and your job and your games. It’s not all that bad.
You feel a twinge of guilt for Martin and Jon, who you could ave intervened for. You feel more than a twinge for the worlds the Entities will infect after. But--maybe it will all work out okay. Maybe the universe is a kind place. Maybe other worlds will be able to handle the fears better.
Who knows! There is always hope!
----
[When the sky turns red and the great Eye opens, when you start to hear the howls of your apartment neighbors through the wall--
Nothing happens to you. You are fine. It does not touch you.
Oh.]
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elianamarie-blog · 4 years ago
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The Things You Give Pt 14
Steven Hyde x Read
Happy Holidays and New Years everyone! I can’t believe we’re already 14 parts in. I’m so glad you guys are loving the story! Tag list is open if you want to be a part of it :)
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Beep, beep, beep.
           The sound of the heart monitor was the only noise resourcing from the room. Hyde sat beside y/n, watching as her chest gently rose and fell, and listened to Red interrogate Eric from the hallway.
           “What do you mean you don’t know what happened?!” Red asked him in his usual gruff tone.
           “I don’t, Dad!” Eric defended. “All I saw is that she was sick and she was trying to get Fez and Hyde to stop fighting and she just dropped!”
           “And you didn’t catch her?” Red fumed. “She could’ve gotten hurt!”
           “Well, I didn’t expect her to fall!” he responded.
           “Red, honey, your yelling isn’t making anything easier,” Kitty said quietly.
           “For me it is!”
           “Red,” she said more sternly.
           “Well, have they figured out what’s wrong with her?” the worried father asked impatiently.
           “No, they haven’t,” Kitty answered calmly.
           “What’s taking them so long?” he grumbled. “We’ve been here for hours!”
           Kitty blinked at her husband. “We’ve been here for twenty-five minutes.”
           “And our daughter has been unconscious for forty! My little girl is in there now and I want answers, dammit!”
           “Red, she’s fine,” Kitty said, trying to soothe him. “She’s tucked in a bed right now with monitoring and her breathing is normal. They drew her blood and we’re just waiting on the test results.”
           “They need to come faster!” he shouted, causing Kitty to frantically look around and smile nervously as her coworkers stared at them.
           “Hey, Mom, if Dad has another heart attack, at least it’ll save us another ambulance bill since we’re already at a hospital,” Eric said grinning, sarcasm bleeding into his tone.
           “Can it, dumbass!” Red snarled.
           Inside the room, y/n groaned, hearing the arguing from outside and slowly opened her eyes, seeing nothing but white. Her head felt someone was taking a jack hammer to her skull. Steven noticed and waited anxiously by her side.
           “Why do they have to be so loud?” she mumbled.
           Steven sighed in relief and grabbed her hand. “Are you okay? How’re you feeling?”
           “I think so,” she croaked. “I feel like crap and I’m tired.”
           Hyde chuckled softly and leaned over, kissing her head softly. “You scared the crap out of me.”
           “What happened? Am I in the hospital?” she asked, not letting go of his hand.
           Hyde paused, searching her face. “You don’t—? You fainted and hit the ground pretty hard. They think you may have gotten a concussion.”
           “Well, that explains my headache,” she grumbled and rubbed her head. She looked at Steven who was still looking at her with worried eyes. “Where is everyone?”
           “Your parents are out in the hall with your brother, Fez is here but went to find ice cream.” He rolled his eyes at the thought but continued. “And everyone else is on their way.”
           “How long have I been out?”
           “About forty-five minutes. I’m glad you’re okay,” he answered and pulled her hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss.
           If it wasn’t for her head screaming at her, her heart would be fluttering away like butterflies, but all she wanted to do was numb the pain. A sharp pain surged through her skull, causing her to hiss.
           “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” he asked her.
           She tried to nod, but that caused more pain to her skull. “My head hurts. A lot.”
           “That’s what happens when you smack your head on concrete,” he answered. “You have a pretty good-sized knot on your head.”
            Y/n reached up and felt her scalp until she felt a painful bump behind the side of her head. She winced at her own touched. “Ow.”
           “Maybe you shouldn’t do that,” Hyde chuckled. “I’m going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything?”
           Her stomach churned at the thought of liquids and scrunched up her nose. “No, but I probably should. I’ll take a ginger ale if they have any.”
           “You got it, doll,” he said and walked out just as the doctor was stepping in.
           “Good afternoon, Miss Forman,” the middle-aged, dark haired man said. “I’m Dr. Kipp. I’ve been looking over you while you were out. How are you feeling?”
           “Not gonna lie, Doc, I feel pretty lousy,” Y/n responded. “I’ve been sick for the last couple of days. Not being able to keep anything down, I’m achy all over…I’m starting to wonder if I have the stomach flu or something. On top of that, my head is killing me.”
           “Well, you passed out due to your blood pressure dropping which caused a lack of blood to the brain, but it’s definitely not the stomach flu,” Dr. Kipp answered casually, setting down his clipboard as he went over to the sink to wash his hands.
           “How do you know that?” Y/n questioned him.
           “Well, it can’t be because you’re pregnant.”
                                                  --Time Skip—
           “How’s y/n doing?” Donna asked as she got to the waiting room, flowers in hand.
           “Oh, that’s so sweet that you got her flowers!” Kitty gushed, making Donna smile. “And she’s awake. The doctor is in there right now with her.”
           “Oh, good,” she said and sat down next to Fez who was quietly eating ice cream. “Where did you get the ice cream?”
           “Oh, I told them that y/n was my wife and they let me get ice cream!” he replied stoically.
           “So, you’re telling me that you hit on her and now you’re telling people she’s your wife?” Hyde seethed, holding a cup of coffee in one and a ginger ale can in the other.
           “Can you kids not fight for five damn minutes please?” Red asked impatiently. “It’s bad enough that we’re here, I don’t want to have to hear about your petty drama.”
           “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You’re the reason she’s here in the first place,” said Fez.
           “Why would it be your fault?” Kitty asked Hyde.
           “It’s not!” Hyde replied. “He’s just saying crap so I can knock his teeth in.”
           Kitty and Red squinted their eyes at the teens for a moment. “What on earth is going on here?” Kitty asked, growing frustrated.
           “Nothing,” Hyde answered through gritted, glaring daggers at Fez.
           Fez returned the glare. “You know, Hyde, I often wonder what it would be like to hook up with my best friend’s sister. Don’t you?”
            Hyde’s expression hardened. “It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital because when I break your bones, you’re already here!” Hyde aggressively moved towards Fez, but was stopped short by Eric getting in between them.
           “Okay! That’s enough,” he sang-song. “Hyde, why don’t you sit over there quietly and don’t beat up Fez.” He turned to Fez. “And Fez? Shut the hell up.”
           Hyde jerked himself away. “I’m going to go give this to y/n.”
           Back in the room, y/n felt like the wind had been knocked out of her lungs. “I’m…what?”
           “Pregnant,” he responded in a faux enthusiastic voice. “That was through the blood test. We’re going to have you take urine test as well. So,” he pulled out a plastic cup. “You’re going to pee in this cup and when you’re finished, pull the string and a nurse will come in and collect it. Then, we’ll do a full examination on you to make sure your head is okay.”
           Y/n nodded numbly and mindlessly grabbed the cup in her hand. “Okay…”
           “Probably not the news you were expecting, huh?” he asked.
           Y/n chuckled weakly. “No. Not at all.”
           “Well, I’ll be back soon with your test results.”
           He walked out the door, leaving y/n alone in the room. Her hands felt numb and she felt like there was static all around her. How could she be pregnant? How did she let this happen? And oh God, what was she going to say to Steven? Her eyes widened. Her parents?!
           A sudden heavy weight was shattered onto her chest and her eyes began to water. How was she going to tell everyone? What if her dream came true and she truly was alone? Could she raise a baby on her own? Where would she live? What job would she have to do to support her baby? Was she even going to be a good mom? Will her children grow up to be decent people? What if they’re born with health conditions? Or they fall ill? Can she even count on herself to get out of bed at 2 AM to go to the 24 hour store to buy cough medicine when they get sick? How do you even change a poopy diaper? How is she going to react when they’re teenagers and they’re learning how to drive or get their first boyfriend or girlfriend? What kind of mom was she going to be? What kind father was Steven going to be? Will he even stick around?
           With all these questions swimming through her head, she didn’t notice Steven walk back in. “I got that ginger ale you—hey, you okay?”
           Y/n snapped her head up as she was yanked out of her thoughts, which she silently thanked heaven above for. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”
           “You sure?” he asked as he set down the drink on the table next to her. “You don’t look fine. In fact, you look kinda pale.”
           “Yeah, um,” she stuttered, swallowing hard and waved her hand casually. “The doctor says I passed out due to lack of blood to the brain. Blood tests came back normal, but he wants me to take a urine test just to be sure.” Not a total lie. Just left out a part.
           “Oh, okay. Do you need help getting to the bathroom?”
           “I think I got it,” she answered truthfully and slowly got out of bed, barley able to feel her legs. She ambled her way to the bathroom, dragging the IV along with her. She felt Steven’s stare burning a hole in the back of her head, but she couldn’t think of what he was thinking right now. She couldn’t. It would drive her to an anxiety attack.
           She closed the door quietly and baby stepped her way to the toilet. She passed by the mirror and did a double take to her reflection. Her ponytail was a complete rats nest, her eyes had dark circles under them, and her normally rosy cheeks had lost all color. She looked half dead and she wanted to cringe away. She turned her head to the side and saw the swelled up bump on her skull. She winced when she saw it and let out a sigh. She really wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for 72 hours.
           She made her way to the toilet and shakily did her business in the cup. When she was finished, she left in on the counter in the bathroom and pulled the string. After she was finished washing up, she walked out to meet Steven sitting in the chair.
           “Hey,” he said gently whispered.
           “Hey,” she answered in the same manner. “Where is everyone?”
           “In the waiting room. Do you want to see them?”
           Her heart dropped, but she needed to play it cool. “Yeah, that would be nice.”
           He nodded and opened the door to call them in. She got back in bed with Hyde’s help, making sure her IV wouldn’t get pulled out of her arm.
           “Oh, y/n,” Kitty sobbed and rushed over to y/n who was sitting up fully and wrapped her arms around her. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
           Y/n barley reciprocated the hug. “I’m okay, Mom.”
           “When we saw you being loaded up into the ambulance, I thought I was going to die right there,” Kitty responded, stepping away from her daughter.
           “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”
           “What did the doctor say?” she pried.
           “Uh…they don’t know yet,” Y/n replied. “They’re taking a urine sample.”
           “Well, a person fainting is never a good thing,” Kitty stated matter-of-factly. “It means your blood pressure dropped and you weren’t getting enough blood flow to the brain. Those things just don’t happen.”
           “I know. They’re running tests right now,” Y/n said and leaned back against the pillows.
           “When will we find out?” Red pushed.
           “I don’t know,” Y/n responded growing annoyed. “I don’t know anything.” Lie, lie, LIE.
           “Well, we better find out soon,” Red said. “This place gives me the creeps.”
           “If you wanna leave, you can. I’m a big girl, I can leave on my own,” Y/n responded.
           “No, no, I wanna be here in this room when the doctor comes and tells us what’s wrong,” Kitty said stubbornly.
          Y/n’s heart and stomach dropped. There was no way anyone was going to be in this room when the doctor came back with the results. Positive or not, she didn’t need her parents asking questions and then finding out about her and Steven.
           She kept her face and voice as calm as possible. “No, no it’s okay. Really. I don’t know if I want everyone in here anyway. In fact, it’s probably best that I’m alone.”
           “Oh, nonsense. I—”
           “Kitty, if she wants to be alone, then we’ll leave her alone. She’s an adult now. She doesn’t need us in here,” Red said, signaling to his wife that they leave. “Besides, the Packers’s game is on and I wanna go home.”
           Kitty sighed, annoyed. “Fine. Fine, I’ll leave, but I want to hear everything, missy.”
           Y/n’s eyes widened a fraction and her heart beat violently against her blood cage. She could practically feel her blood pumping through her veins. She nodded numbly. “Okay.”
           Kitty nodded and kissed y/n on the head before leaving. She felt some tension leave her body as she watched her parents leave. She leaned her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes, feeling completely drained.
           “Are you okay?” Donna asked.
           “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Just…feeling depleted.”
           “Well, you can’t go to sleep yet,” Hyde said. “You might have a concussion.”
           “I want sleep,” she whined.
           “I know, but I’d rather you be exhausted than not wake up at all,” he responded.
           She glared at him through half open eye lids and grumbled, “I hate you.”
           He chuckled lightly. “I know.”
           The door to the room opened revealing Kelso, Fez and Jackie.
           “Hey, y/n, how are you feeling?” Kelso asked.
           “Bout as great as I look,” she replied, a weak smile playing her lips.
           “So, super sexy,” Fez responded cheekily but that smile quickly faded when Hyde punched his shoulder. “Ow.”
           “Remember: Respect,” was all Hyde said before sitting back down.
           “I heard what happened,” Kelso responded. “And Brooke made me bring you these.” He handed her a small bouquet of yellow daisies and lilies.
           Y/n chuckled, accepting the flowers. “Tell Brooke I said thank you for the nice gesture. And tell her to bring the baby around soon. I want to meet my niece.”
           Kelso’s face brightened. “You…you really think of her that way?”
           Y/n nodded. “Why wouldn’t I? We’ve all been best friends since we were little and it only makes sense that we look at each other more than just friends now.”
           “Like lovers?” Fez asked her seductively.
           “Do you have a death wish?” Hyde spat.
           “Okay, Steven that’s enough,” Y/n said as sternly as she could. “And Fez, shut up.”
           Fez pouted and went and sat in the corner of the room.
           “You know what? My mind is made up,” Kelso said. Y/n stared at him curiously, everyone joining in.
           “Kelso, in order for your mind to be made up, you have to have a brain,” Eric commented.
           Kelso shot Eric a glare before turning his head back towards y/n and Hyde. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Betsy lately and Brooke is really starting to trust me.”
           “Okay, and that makes up your mind for?” Y/n asked him.
           “Hang on, just let me finish,” he said smiling. “Brooke is starting to trust me so much she’s even allowing me to pick the godparents.”
           “Oh, that’s great!” Y/n gleefully responded. “I’m so happy for you.”
           “And there’s only one rule. It can’t be Fez,” Kelso added on.
           Fez nodded. “That is a good rule.”
           “Godparents?” Donna mumbled to Eric. “Like we need any more responsibilities.”
           “I know,” Eric whispered back, rolling his eyes. “Such a burden.”
           “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and it’s a big deal. So,” Kelso said, stepping closer to the bed where Eric and Donna sat. “Eric, Donna.”
           “Uh, oh,” Eric sang-song.
           “Please scooch over so I can ask Hyde and y/n if they’ll be Betsy’s godparents?”
           Y/n looked at Hyde with excited eyes. “Really?!”
           “What the hell?!” Eric exclaimed.
           “Hyde and y/n?” Donna asked insulted.
           “You picked Hyde and y/n?” Jackie asked, equally insulted. “Why didn’t you ask someone else? Like me?”
           “Because you’re single,” Kelso deadpanned.
           Jackie crossed her arms. “And?”
           “And you need to be in a relationship to be a godparent,” Kelso responded slowly like he was scared to continue speaking. “That’s why they call it godparents. You can’t be single and be a godparent. That’s just stupid.” He laughed and rolled his eyes.
           Jackie stared at him in disbelief, trying to make sense of what he said. “That barley makes any sense, you moron.”
           “Hey, hey, hey, he chose us. Let him speak,” Y/n said not trying to contain her glee. “Not that I’m questioning your choice because, you know, you chose us, but why us?”
           “Because I really trust you and I think you’d be fantastic with Betsy,” he responded sweetly.
           “And you don’t think we won’t?” Eric asked.
           “Yeah, you don’t trust us?” Donna chimed in.
           “Well, to be fair, I’ve seen you drop almost everything you’ve held in your hands,” Kelso responded. “And you’ve never really taken care of a baby.”
           “Yes we have!” Donna defended. “Remember that time last year when Laurie had to babysit that one baby and I ended up changing her diaper when she couldn’t? I was a freakin’ natural!”
           “Yeah, I mean, if you gave me the honor of being godmother, I would be popular, head cheerleader, and voted best legs. This would give me another title,” Jackie argued.
           “Would you guys relax?” Hyde asked everyone. “It’s not that big of deal.”
           “Yeah, it’s not like he’s shunning you guys,” Y/n responded.
           “You’re all still going to be aunts and uncles,” Kelso defended.
           “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say,” Jackie grumbled and joined Fez in the back.
           “We can be good godparents,” Eric argued. “You can trust us.”
           “Eric, remember Goldie, the goldfish?” Y/n asked.
           “Yeah,” he responded.
           “Remember how you killed Goldie by taking him out of the fish bowl?”
           “I needed to hug something,” Eric answered coldly. “Besides, I’m not going to have to flush a baby down the toilet!”
           “Either way, man, thanks. I’m honored,” Hyde said and clapped his hand with Kelso’s and pulled him in for a bro hug.
           “If I have another kid, I’ll make you two godparents. I promise,” Kelso said.
           Eric huffed. “Yeah, yeah.”
           “Alright, I have to take a leak,” Hyde announced.
           “And I’m going to go find some more ice cream,” Fez said.
          “Can you guys make sure y/n doesn’t fall asleep?” Hyde continued.
           “You got it pal!” Kelso responded and watched as Hyde and Fez walked out.
           “I’m not a child,” Y/n responded once they were out of ear shot. “I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, thank you.”
           “Kelso!” Fez called out and barged back into the room. “Kelso, come quick! There’s a hot nurse fight happening downstairs! Hurry before it ends!”
           “See ya,” Kelso said and scrambled out the room, leaving Jackie, Eric, and Donna alone.
           “Yeah, I’m leaving too,” Jackie said pouting. “I don’t want to sit here and be reminded that I wasn’t picked for godparent. I may have to do some shopping therapy to get over it. Bye!” She squealed and walked out, leaving just the twins and Donna.
           “Do you need anything sis?” Eric asked. “Some water? Fluff up your pillows? Relinquish your title of godparent over to me?”
           Y/n gave her twin a look before scoffing. “No, thanks. I’m fine.”
           “Fine. I’ll just go see if they have any teddy bears in the gift shop that reads ‘Not Quite the Best Godparents’ and maybe it’ll be tear absorbent!” With that, he stormed out the room, leaving Elena in stunned silence.
           Donna rolled her eyes. “I better go after him. Last time I left him alone while he was upset, he thought I didn’t care about him anymore and didn’t speak to me for three days.”
           She left, leaving y/n alone in the room. Again. She leaned back once more, enjoying the silence, but now that she was alone again, she realized just how loud the silence was. All she could think was pregnant, pregnant, pregnant.    
           “What am I going to do?” she mumbled to herself.
           The door to the room opened again; Dr. Kipp entering once more.
           “Hi Miss. Forman,” Dr. Kipp greeted. “We got your test results back.”
           She gulped. “And?”
           He sat down on the stool next to her bed and looked her in the eyes. “It’s positive.”
           Her heart dropped completely, and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. “I’m pregnant?”
           “I know this is a lot to take in, but we need to gather some more information from you so we can determine how far along you are. But first the basics. What’s your full name?”
           “Y/f/n y/m/n Forman.”
           He scratched her answer down on his clipboard. “Birthday?”
           “May 18, 1959.”
           “So, that makes you eighteen years old, correct?”
           Y/n nodded.
           “Okay, and your current address?”
           “416 Edlebrook Ave.”
           “Beautiful,” the doctor responded and looked up from his clipboard. “Do you know who the father is?”
           Tears started to burn her eyes as she nodded her head. “I do.”
           “What’s his name?”
           “Steven James Hyde.”
           “When was your last menstrual cycle?”
           “Somewhere in mid September.”
           “And today is October 19,” he said more to himself. “So, you are about three weeks along. Now, I’m going to give this information to the nurse and have her give you a pamphlet and a referral to an OB/GYN. I’ll have them give you a call to set up an appointment. Do we have permission to leave a message with someone if you’re not available?”
           “Uh…no, just me is fine, thanks. I’m not ready to tell people yet.”
           He nods. “Understandable. Now, let’s look at your head and see how you’re doing.” As he took out a flashlight and started examining her eyes, Hyde walked back in the room.
           “Hey, Doc. How’s she doing?” he asked.
           “Well, I’m not seeing any signs of concussion, so that’s good.” He turned off the light and started feeling around underneath her jaw to the back of her head where he felt her bump. She winced and he took note of it. “She seems great besides that nasty bump. Just put some ice on it if it starts to hurt and take some aspirin for the pain. Otherwise, you’re good to go.”
           “What about her test results?”
           Dr. Kipp glanced at y/n and saw her terrified look. He glanced back at Steven who looked worried. “Test results came back normal and she’s perfectly healthy.” He noticed Steven visibly relax. “Anything else, she may discuss with you at her discretion.”
           Y/n mouthed a thank you to the doctor who gave her a subtle nod and finished writing his notes on his clipboard. “I’ll have a nurse discharge you. You have a good rest of your night and rest up.”
           Y/n nodded. “Thank you.”
           With that, he left the room, leaving y/n wanting to vomit—and not from feeling sick this time. She continued to sit in her bed, not being able to properly process the information. Her world felt fuzzy and she felt like she was going to pass out for a second time. She could hear Steven talking to her, but it was all garbled and muffled as if she were underwater. Was her dream right? Was she going to be disowned by her family? Is she going to disappoint her mother? Oh no, how is Red going to take this? She and Steven are dead. Dead like road kill.
           She heard Steven’s muffled voice again, but this time louder. She blinked and looked up at Steven. “I’m sorry, what?”
           He knitted his eyebrows at her. “I said, are you okay? Do you need help getting dressed?”
           She shook her heavy head and slowly slid out of bed. “I should be okay.” She untied her hospital gown, allowing it to pool around her feet. She shivered as the cold air hit her bare skin and turned to see her clothes balled up in a plastic bag. She slowly started dressing herself and felt Hyde’s eyes burn into her the whole time.
           She finally looked up at him as she finished putting on her pajama top. “What’s up?”
           “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting different.”
           She nodded, not being able to look him in the eye. “Yeah, I think so. Just still not feeling well and feeling a little disoriented from the fall. But I think I’m good.”
           He eyed her for a minute. “Okay,” he responded slowly. “As long as you don’t pass out on me again.”
           She chuckled. “I think I’ll be okay.”
           A knock came at the door and the nurse walked in. “Okay, Miss Forman. Here are your doctor’s notes to help you feel better. Plenty of rest and fluids. And—” She noticed Steven listening to her and she looked back down at the pamphlet in her hands and slid the doctor’s notes over it. “Here’s everything you else need to know. If you have any questions, there’s a number you can call and if you don’t get better or start to feel worse, come on back in.”
           Y/n thanked her and quietly gathered the rest of her stuff and headed out with Steven. He guided her slowly into the camino and started up the car. She rested her elbow on the windowsill of the door and leaned her head into her hand, feeling like sleep will overtake her any minute now. Hyde placed a gentle hand on her thigh and lovingly rubber circles with his thumb.
           “Let’s get you back in bed, yeah?”
           She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, not being able to form words in fear she would start crying.
           The drive home was deathly quiet as rain started to fall. The only noise emitting was outside as the rain fell onto the windshield. Not being able to handle the silence, Hyde reached over and turned on the radio, allowing the music to softly fill the car. It eased the tension slightly, allowing y/n to relax.
           He pulled up in front of a supermarket and put the car in park.
           “What are we doing here?” she croaked.
           “Do you want some soup?”
           She gave him a small smile. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
           He nodded and got out of the car, leaving it on so the heater would warm up y/n. Ever since the hospital, she’d been cold and not able to heat up as fast as she normally would. She shivered, realizing she didn’t bring a jacket or her robe. She looked around the car and noticed a blanket behind the driver’s seat. She wrapped her cold fingers around the soft material and realized it was their sex blanket. She crunched up her nose a little, noticing some stains. “Ugh, gross,” she murmured before placing the clean side on her. The stench of sex filled her nostrils, but luckily it didn’t upset her stomach more than it already was.
           She waited in the car for a few more minutes with the blanket pulled up to her chin and listened to the music. Paul Anka came on, singing (You’re) Having My Baby.
           “Would you look at that,” she grumbled and changed the station. Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely was on playing. “What the…” she grumbled and changed it to another station. A country song this time was playing. One that y/n didn’t know, but it was better than the others, so she left it on. She listened to the lyrics as they went:
           The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin' The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin' One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' Lord, one's on the way
Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins, again.
             “Are you kidding me?” She reached over and turned off the radio, choosing to sit in silence.
           Just then the driver’s door opened and Steven clambered inside with a container of chicken soup in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. “Here you go, doll.”
           “Awe, thank you, baby.” She grabbed the container from his hands and allowed the warmth to thaw her icy ones.
           “You turned off the music?” he questioned and started to beat the pack against the heel of his hand.
           “Yeah, there was nothing good on.” Technically not a lie.
           “Ah, makes sense,” he responded and noticed the blanket. He snorted teasingly. “Cold?”
           “No, no, I’m burning up actually. The blanket was so I could feel like I’m in hell.”
           He threw his add head back laughing. “Take it easy, Firecracker. If I hada known you were cold, I would’ve given you my jacket.”
           She smirked at him. “Nah, this is fine. Thanks. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to be cold.”
           “I’ll be fine,” he said and stuck a cigarette between his lips.
           Y/n’s eyes widened and quickly ripped it from him mouth.
           “What the hell, y/n?”
           “Uh, I’m still not feeling well enough. I don’t want hurl all over your car.”
           He scrunched up his nose at her. “Fine. Fair point. But I’m smoking when I get back!”
            Y/n shook her head at him. “What a rebel.”
           “Damn straight,” he responded and turned the car on. “Don’t forget who you’re with.”
           “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
           He smiled at her before backing up and driving them home for the night.
                                                 --Time Skip—
           The next couple of days were brutal for y/n. Kitty wouldn’t stop interrogating her and y/n finally told something made up to get her off her back. Kitty didn’t believe her, but she backed off knowing she’ll be back again. She wanted so badly to tell Steven about her pregnancy, but every time she tried, it would come out a different sentence.
         “I’m,” she would start, but right when she would look into his baby blue eyes, she would panic. “hungry. I’m hungry, starving! Can we go get something to eat?”
         He would give her a weird look before agreeing and leaving to buy her food.
           On top of that, morning sickness would rear its ugly head and she would end up being sick at the most random of times. She would be sitting down in the basement with her friends, feeling fine, but then she would feel her lunch coming back up and she would have to haul ass to the nearest restroom.
           Everyone was worried about her, trying to get her to go back to the doctor, but she already knew. She had secretly made the appointment with the OB/GYN and wasn’t going to be able to see her until two weeks out. Until then, she had to keep lying and making excuses.
           “It’s been almost a week,” Eric said one afternoon as they were all huddled into the basement. “You really should go back to the doctor.”
                      “I’d rather not,” Y/n said. “Going to the doctors for every sniff and cough is not my thing.”
                     “But it’s not just a sniffle or a cough,” he pointed out. “It’s like one minute you’re fine and then the next you’re throwing up Mom’s tuna casserole.”
                  “That was a long night,” she countered, remembering that night as she had to lay on the floor next to the toilet for hours because she couldn’t stop throwing up.
             “Well, can you still keep down fluids?” Donna asked. “Like, chicken broth, orange juice, and tea?”
           “Yeah, those are fine,” Y/n responded. “I just can’t seem to digest solid foods. But I was able to drink apple juice the other day with some bread. I’m also not nauseas all day anymore. I think I’m getting better.”
             “Well, if you’re feeling better, wanna go shoot some hoops?” Kelso asked.
             “Nah, but you guys can,” Y/n responded. “Me and Donna can just sit and ogle.”
             “I knew you were checking me out,” Kelso purred and rubbed his chest.
             “Not you, you dork,” Y/n said. “Hyde and Eric.”
                      “You ogle at me?” Eric said disgusted. “That’s gross.”
             “No! Donna is, you dumbass!” Y/n said and stood up while Eric laughed. “Moron.”
             She walked outside to the driveway with everyone behind her. As they reached the driveway, the boys split up into their group while Donna and y/n moved away to watch from the porch.
             “So, Hyde, how’s it been with you and y/n?” Kelso asked under his breath, making sure the girls couldn’t hear.
             “You know, things are going good, but with her being sick this past week, it’s been kinda hard not getting any action,” Hyde responded.
             “Ewwwww! Could you please not?” Eric exclaimed. “I told you I don’t wanna hear it.”
             “I know, that’s why I did it,” Hyde laughed and tossed the ball to Eric. “Your play. Go.”
             The girls watched from the porch, admiring the way their men looked. Y/n wanted so badly to jump Hyde’s bones, but didn’t want to puke in the middle of it and ruin the mood. She and Donna chatted idly as they watched their men get sweaty and hot.
             “Look, I know he’s your brother, but damn does he look hot when he’s all concentrated,” Donna swooned as she watched Eric block Fez’s slam dunk.
             “Really? I think he looks constipated,” Y/n laughed.
             In the middle of the play, Eric turned, facing them while trying to block Kelso from making his shot. The concentration he wore on his face made Donna drool but laugh.
             “You’re right, he does look constipated,” she agreed and laughed even more.
             “I know you don’t think so, but Steven just looks so good when he’s moving around like that,” Y/n said and stared at her boyfriend. “I mean, when he gets all sweaty and flushed, it makes me want him so bad.”
             Donna chuckled. “So, how have you guys been?”
             “We’ve been good. You know with me being this sick, we haven’t really gotten the time to do it or anything.”
             “From the looks of it earlier and hearing Eric scream ‘ew’ makes me believe that Hyde already said something like that to him,” Donna laughed once more.
             Y/n chuckled. “Sounds about right.”
             They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched the four boys play basketball. The entire time, y/n’s heart was hammering against her chest, debating on telling Donna right there. She couldn’t take keeping a secret this big from her best friend. Besides, if she wasn’t going to tell someone soon, she was going to explode.
             “Donna,” she said shakily. “I have something to tell you.”
             Seeing how serious her tone was, Donna perked up. “What?”
             “I need you to promise me that you’re not going to freak out. Because if you do, everyone will hear it and I can’t have that right now.”
             Donna’s heart started beating wildly against her own ribcage, now nervous and worried. “Okay?”
           “And whatever happens, promise me you’ll still be my friend?”
           “Of course! What’s going on?”
             Y/n took a deep breath before looking Donna in the eye. At that moment, she wanted to crawl up in a bawl and just cry. But she knew she couldn’t; She had to be strong. So instead she let out a shaky breath.
             “I’m pregnant.”
@lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @taysirene​ 
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shingia · 4 years ago
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Hello!!! I love ur fics sm 😭💖 This is weirdly specific and been plaguing my mind for days,,, Can I req an angsty fic where Atsumu broke up with the reader because he wants to chase his dreams and ultimately leaves but with the reader saying "I'll wait" . A few months later he seeks for the reader again and finds out the reader has terminal illness and is dying. You can decide if there's major character death or a miracle,,,, please and thank u so much!!
𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐨 - 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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aw thank youuuu <33 and also WOW this request is in-tense, i modified the ‘terminal illness’ part a little bit for plot convenience, but i rly hope you’re gonna like it ! i am : stressed. also, i’m a sucker for happy endings (just ignore my last bokuto fic) so i couldn’t go full angst on that one 😅
quick storytime : my great grandpa died from heartbreak and i always thought it was a beautiful (yet very sad) way to die, so i guess that’s where i got my inspiration from <3
⤷  atsumu x gn!reader | angst | word count : 1.7K
warnings : hospital environment, heart condition, mild description of ‘illness’ and mentions of death (a little)
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your first kiss with miya atsumu had been sloppy, dizzy, with a strong scent of rum and smudged lip balm all over your lips. but there was no doubt that it had been the best kiss of your entire lives…
…just like your last had been the worst. 
two months later, atsumu still couldn’t forget the salty taste of your lips that begged him not to leave. if he focused hard enough, he could even remember the feeling of your hands desperately clinging to his jacket in a last attempt at making him stay by your side.
but he didn’t, and as much as he hated himself for putting an end - even temporary - to what had been the most beautiful chapter of his life, he had never regretted his decision ; and he knew exactly why. you had promised to wait for him, and in pure egoism, he knew and hoped that you would. because no matter the distance, he was still madly in love with you.
which is why he did not understand why osamu was so outraged when he told him that he was finally ready to come back to you. but the younger twin knew things that his brother didn’t - he had seen you let yourself waste away, like nothing else mattered without the one you loved.
but more than that, atsumu did not know about the secret his brother promised to keep. he did not know that, two weeks ago, osamu had found you unconscious in your living room with an alarmingly slow heartbeat. the poor boy had not understood everything the doctors had told him - but whatever a cardiogenic shock was, he knew that it would have carried you off if without his intervention.
however, you had been categorical : atsumu shouldn’t not know about this, under any pretext. you refused to be a burden to the pursuit of his dreams for which he had already sacrificed so much for. but now that atsumu was back, something about this promise didn’t sit right with his brother. and so he decided to tell him everything.
« …most doctors thought about a standard heart attack » he told him after explaining the situation, on the lookout for any impulsive reaction from his brother. « … but one of them talked about something else. you might want to sit down ».
but atsumu couldn’t care less about his brother’s advice. actually, he didn’t care about anything else than you right now. it was already taking a lot of effort for him to stand there listening to samu instead of being on his way to the hospital - but he stayed. for an obscure reason that he didn’t really understand, he stayed.
« did you know that people can die of heartbreak ? » osamu asked, more serious than he had ever been in his whole life. 
the blonde twin felt like the ground had suddenly swallowed him whole - although his brother was trying his best not to sound too accusating, it was more than obvious that whatever situation you were in was because of him. and only him.
« no they can’t » he tried to protest, not even believing in his own words. panic was beginning to win him over - and in a matter of seconds, he lost all his composure « WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT MOVING ? LET’S GO ! » he shouted, already opening the front door. at that moment, one question burned his lips, but he knew he would never have the guts to ask it out loud. 
‘did i kill them ?’
——
the steady beeps of all the machines around you were the only thing disrupting the deafening silence of your hospital room. you were sick of spending your days alone. but you had no right to complain, osamu had offered to come and see you after work every day, but you had politely refused. well, politely was a big word… your body was so exhausted that you had trouble articulating simple phrases, and therefore exclusively communicated through nods or hand gestures.
your phone had been confiscated and the doctors kept you away from the news - or at least from the negative news, because they knew that your heart might give out at the tiniest emotional distress.
which is why you were so surprised to hear a knock on your door at about 3pm, outside of the nurses’ shift hours. knowing that you were too weak to talk, osamu let himself in, slowly closing the door behind him before coming closer to your bed.
« how are you doing ? » he asked, resting his hands on the other end of the bed. you shrugged, pointing at the IV and all the monitoring surrounding you. as long as these machines were there, it was hard to feel better than just ok. « listen, um… someone is here for you. the doctors said i could bring him in, but i wanted your authorization first… » he started before clearing his throat. « atsumu is back. do you- are you ready to see him ? ».
ready was probably not an appropriated word. but after two months spent pretending that he was still laying next to you in bed every night, still texting you good morning every day, still sending you the dumbest memes at the most random times, it would have been a huge mistake to refuse osamu’s proposition.
and so he let him in. obviously, atsumu had orders from the doctors and his brother : don’t run, don’t move too fast, don’t speak too soon, don’t touch them without warning. but nobody had asked him not to cry. and how could his eyes stay dry when you looked so fragile and so vulnerable ?
osamu quietly left the room, leaving the two of you together not without apprehension. but if there was one thing he could trust his brother on, it was taking care of you. two months could not have gotten the better of four years of relationship.
but as much as he cared about you, atsumu had always been - and still was - pretty bad with words. and the first ones that left his mouth were a great example. « are you going to die ? » he asked in a shaky voice, brows knitted.
you would have given him an answer if you had one, but you didn’t. the doctors said that you had gone through the most painful part, but the risks of aggravations were still too important to let you go home. you were not 100% safe yet.
« i told you i’d wait » you spoke in a hoarse voice, the beep of your heart monitor getting a little bit faster.
the steps atsumu took towards you were slow, like he had been told, but just one glance at his eyes was enough to know that deep down, he was dying to feel your skin against his.
« i know you probably hate me right now. and for good reasons » he started as he sat on the chair next to your bed, still painfully avoiding any contact. « but there’s something i need to tell you, in case… in case… well, if something were to happen ».
his eyes lingered on your fingertips, blue and cold, and his whole body tensed at once. the thought that everything you were going through had been caused by his own selfishness was driving him crazy. but he had one last thing to keep himself grounded, and that thing was exactly what he was about to tell you.
« i love you. but i caused you so much trouble that i think there’s only one way to prove it… » he said, taking a deep breath before finally resting a timid hand on your arm. « i want to marry you. right now. i don’t fucking care if it’s not considered official, i just want you to know that leaving you was probably the biggest mistake i ever did. and that i’m not leaving ever again. so fuck it, let’s get married ! you almost died, life’s too short to plan a stupid ceremony ».
he stopped for a few seconds, panting from his teary monologue and paying attention to any beep or other sound that might indicate that he had made things worse for you. but it seemed like you were doing ok. how could you not be ? the love of your life had just proposed to you - sure, it wasn’t how you had imagined it, but wasn’t it even more beautiful like that ?
the tears that started rolling down your cheeks were undoubtedly tears of happiness and relief to know that, finally, your life was back to normal. atsumu was your normality, and for the first time in two months, you finally felt like you had a purpose. you had no idea if soulmates existed, but what you had with atsumu seemed more than close enough.
if someone had entered the room at that moment, it’d probably have taken them several minutes to understand what was going on. two young adults, crying yet smiling, one of them laying on a hospital bed looking like they had been through hell and back, and the other tearing off two pieces of his t-shirt and looking genuinely proud of himself -  nothing about this made sense.
« my apologies, it was the easiest way to make us rings » atsumu chuckled, eyes still blurry as grabbed your hand in his with infinite tenderness. slowly, he tied the piece of cloth around your ring finger, loosely enough so that the doctors would not consider it dangerous for your blood circulation.
« i’m keeping that until you’re getting out of here. by my side. » he affirmed, pointing at his own makeshift ring before looking right into your eyes, as serious as ever. « and i’m also keeping you. forever. consider this my wedding vows »
as much as he hated to phrase it like that, you could both die in peace now.
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i spent so much time on medical sites to be as accurate as i could, i felt like meredith mf grey for a few hours
@toworuu @catwithangerissues
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mearcatsreturns · 3 years ago
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15 for Abby/Luka
For reasons ;)
Under a cut because it's long.
July 2003
To: Luka Kovac <“[email protected]”>
From: Abby Lockhart <“[email protected]”>
Subject: I’m drowning and praying ghosts are real
Dear Luka,
Something about knowing that I’ll never talk to you again is just unbearable. I’ll never laugh at your malapropisms, look into your beautiful eyes, feel your strong hands holding mine, or make love to you again. There won’t be any more jokes about jam and cheese on toast, or you teasing me for my weak but constant supply of coffee. I’ll never hear your amazing, deranged laughter after you prank someone again. No more of your hugs—which are somehow the best hugs in the world. Because you’re gone.
It’s been three days since we got the call telling us you died thousands of miles from home, whether that’s here in Chicago or in Croatia. I didn’t know your dad’s name, Luka. We needed to call him, and I didn’t know. How did I not know? And now I can’t. I mean, L’Alliance told us his name, but the fact that I’ll never learn pieces of your history, of the wonderful man you are, FROM you...how am I supposed to go on and live my life?
For years, I’ve thought medicine was my great thwarted love. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long, and I thought I was bitter about having to let go of that dream. Now I wonder. I let obstacles get in the way of pursuing medicine, and it’s made me...well, it’s part of why I was so unhappy. But that makes me think about how I also let obstacles get in the way of us. I was happy with you, you know, until I let fear and my mother and Carter get in the way. God, I wish I could do that over again. We could have had everything, and if I hadn’t gotten in my own way, I’d be happy. I think maybe I could have made you happy, too.
It’s funny. I knew things with Carter weren’t working, and he implied you were part of it. I said it wasn’t, but then five minutes later, I found out you were—are—dead. And I realized you were the reason, or one of the big ones. As soon as Chuny told me, I knew I loved you and had loved you for years. Yeah. Great timing, isn’t it? I keep thinking that maybe I could have kept you from going if I had known or if I had told you. I didn’t want you to go when I thought you were my very attractive friend and ex that I still was fond of. Knowing that I love you—how do I move past that? Knowing that I lost you, first to my stupidity and then to death?
I just...I miss you, and I don’t when I’ll stop, or how to. Susan caught me crying on my last shift, and I didn’t even know what to say. I feel like I’ve been crying or standing still, brittle and stuck in time, since I heard the news. I can’t, Luka. I know I have to keep on moving, and I thought maybe writing you would help. I know you’ll never see this, never have a chance to respond. But the idea that some fragments of your soul linger and can maybe sense...I don’t know. That I’m writing? What I’m feeling? Jesus, this is crazy.
All my love,
Abby
Abby angrily swipes the tears from her eyes. God, what’s the point of writing this? He’ll never see hsi email or her again. Just...without Luka, how can the world be anything but grim and sad and pointless?
She laughs mirthlessly. Maybe it doesn’t matter. No, she knows it doesn’t. Because Abby knows the futility of it, aches with the meaninglessness, she presses send without another thought.
&&&
Three days after that, a miracle occurs. Luka, the Lazarus of this new millennium, comes back from the dead. He’s never been dead, and maybe, Abby thinks, there’s a God above after all. So many people wish for this exact boon, and she—they, the world—gets it. Some higher power believes this planet is a better place with Luka Kovac in it, and Abby is ecstatic.
Until she remembers the email and that they can’t be unsent.
It’s fine. She’ll be fine. Luka is coming back, apparently with a French nurse. Maybe he’ll just delete it without reading it. Maybe it didn’t go through—how does email work for the dead, and how quickly is all that processed?
Abby shakes her head. It doesn’t matter; Luka is alive and returning to them. She can handle a little awkwardness in the face of the sheer joy of knowing the world is a brighter, kinder place. He’s coming back, and that’s what’s important.
&&&
August 2003
It takes Luka almost a week after returning to Chicago to convince Kerry and the other staff to let him go back to his apartment. Even so, they only agree when Gillian assures them she’ll see to his every need.
Abby winces when she hears that, and it makes something flutter in Luka’s chest. Which probably isn’t good for his malaria, but the hope...that is.
It’s another two days of lying in bed before he has the energy to ask Gillian to bring him his laptop. At this point, it’s been months since he’s checked his email, and Luka grimaces at the undoubtedly horrible state of his inbox. He briefly considers never checking again and just getting a new one, but he knows his father struggled to add him to his contacts once already. To expect it of him again would be absurd.
With a sigh, Luka opens his email. It’s just as bad as he feared. He snorts at the myriad messages about Viagra, Nigerian princes, and Russian brides, deleting them without thought. He saves a couple from his dad. He slowly whittles down his inbox, but he freezes when he gets to one email in particular, sent about a month ago.
It’s from Abby, during the time everyone thought he was dead.
Luka considers calling and asking her if someone hacked her email or is sending spam from her account, but the subject line...it looks real. And Abby’s been odd around him lately, seeming both deliriously happy to see him and awkwardly nervous.
His heart pounds, and he clicks to open it. If this is a spammer, they’re probably about to get whatever they want.
&&&
Abby pours herself another coffee, internally swearing as she prepares for the last two hours of her shift. Deciding to go back to school is great; having to coordinate all the details is less thrilling and leaves her tired and cranky.
Frank ducks his head into the lounge, beady eyes narrowing on her. “Hey, Abby. The Croat is on the phone for you. Line 2. Try to get back out there as fast as you can, Weaver’s yelling at the med students about IVs.”
“Okay, Frank,” Abby says, though she flushes and her palms start to sweat. It’s fine. She can always hide the panic and butterflies in her stomach with sarcasm. It has yet to fail her.
Frank gives her one last suspicious look, then nods and heads back to Admit.
Abby takes a deep breath, then picks up the phone. “Hey, Luka?”
“It’s me. Glad I could reach you. How are you?” He sounds...ugh. So good. And eager and happy, and her heart could leap right out of her chest.
“Doing all right. I just have a couple hours left on this shift, and it hasn’t been too awful today. Only one MVA. How about you? You feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Recovering. Listen, did you want to come over for dinner?”
“Please tell me you’re not trying to cook.”
“What? I’m a good cook, even if you don’t appreciate wonderful, traditional Croatian dishes,” he says with a chuckle.
“Luka, you just got out of the hospital five days ago. You still need to be resting.”
“Abby, don’t worry so much. I was just kidding. I have some sandwiches from Manny’s, and Anna sent me home with lots of matzo ball soup too.”
Abby bites her lip. Of course she wants to go. But the prospect of spending the evening with Gillian cooing over Luka, knowing that she shares a bed with him, is decidedly less appealing. And there’s the email she sent, which Luka hasn’t acknowledged. He might well have deleted it, or he’s giving her a gracious out.
Her conscience twinges as soon as she thinks about bailing, though. Didn’t she promise herself she wouldn’t take life for granted anymore? She’ll go back to med school, she’ll have dinner with Luka when he asks.
“Abby?”
She starts, realizing she needs to respond. “Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I can do that. I can be there an hour after my shift, if that’s okay.”
“Sounds great. Looking forward to seeing you.”
“Me too.” He has no idea how much, even if she wishes she knew for sure that he’d deleted the email.
&&&
Abby rings Luka’s doorbell three and a half hours later. She’d meant to come straight from work, but after a patient vomited on her, she decided to head home, shower, and splurge on a taxi to Luka’s. The poor man is recovering from being deathly ill and doesn’t need County’s fumes making things worse.
There’s the sound of the deadbolt sliding, and Luka answers the door, grinning happily at her. “Good, you made it! Come on in!”
“I did. Sorry it took me longer than expected.” Abby steps into his apartment, looking around. It’s been such a long time since she’s been here, and she notes the subtle changes in the art and decor.
“No worries. I know how it goes.” He places a hand at the small of her back, guiding her inside.
Abby stiffens for a second at how his touch burns even through the layers of her shirt and light jacket, but she relaxes, enjoying the feel while she waits for Gillian to appear and end the fleeting joy.
Luka is unfazed. “Now, of course we can just eat the sandwiches, but if you want to heat up the matzo ball soup, you can. Since you don’t want me standing,” he says with a wink.
Abby smiles back, shaking her head. “Oh, I see how it is. Make the woman who worked all day do more household work when she gets ho—wait, where’s Gillian? Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of you?”
“She’s not here,” he says simply.
Going to the fridge and taking out the containers of soup, Abby places them in the microwave. Is Gillian out for the evening, or is she gone gone? “Shouldn’t you be with her? Or her here with you, whatever.”
Luka is quiet for a long minute, and Abby wonders if he intends to answer. Finally, he breaks the silence. “I asked her to leave.”
Abby’s pulse speeds up. “What? Why?”
Luka takes a deep breath, clearly ready to respond, and—
The microwave dings, and they both jump. Exchanging a sheepish look, they laugh.
“Look, let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Abby dishes up their soup and sandwiches, preparing trays so they can sit on the couch. Luka turns on the television, and Abby’s heart rate comes back under control. They sit together in companionable silence while they eat and watch Thom and Jai and the rest of the Fab 5 whip some hapless lawyer’s life into order. When they finish their meal, Abby cleans up, taking the trays back to the kitchen.
She heads back to the couch at the opposite end from Luka, not daring to get closer when she really has no idea what’s going on.
Luka clears his throat and mutes the TV. “So, yeah. I asked Gillian to leave.”
“Oh. So, um, did you break up?”
“She was never my girlfriend, really. She has a boyfriend back in Montreal, they just…” Luka shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.
Abby is more lost than ever. “Ah.”
Taking a deep breath, Luka continues, finally looking over at her. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful she helped me get here and took care of me, but we were never serious.”
Something starts to tug at Abby’s heart, squeezing and twisting and kicking to get free. Is it...hope? “Well, I’m glad she got you here safe, but you should have someone staying with you while you recover, Luka. Malaria is dangerous.”
He gives her a look. “I know how dangerous malaria is. I’m getting better. And besides, it wouldn’t have been fair for me to ask her to stay when things are over because I’m in love with someone else.”
Her heart leaps into her throat. “Someone else?” she squeaks.
Luka nods, swallowing. “Yeah. And I have a reason to think she might be in love with me too.” He slides over to her side of the couch, reaching for her hand.
Abby meets his eyes—those beautiful green eyes that are the best color in the world—and squeezes his hand, incapable of words. Does he mean…?
With his other hand, Luka reaches up and cups her cheek, running his thumb along the subtle arch of her cheekbone. “Abby, if you’ve changed your mind since you sent that email, please tell me to shut up.”
That stupid, ridiculous email might be the best thing she’s ever done in her life. She leans into his hand, licking her lips as she shakes her head slightly. “I haven’t changed my mind. I didn’t mean for you to see it and hoped I could learn how to hack computers and delete it but—”
Luka cuts her off. “I would never forgive you if you managed to delete it. You wouldn’t believe how much faster I healed after that.”
Abby leans forward, sliding into Luka’s waiting arms. “Then maybe I’ll write you some more emails.”
“Emails aren’t what I want right now,” Luka says.
Funny, Abby doesn’t either. Then his lips brush hers, and all her worries and fears fade away. She knows she has to tell him about med school and he needs to finish recuperating, but when Luka deepens their kiss and pulls her closer, Abby ceases to think at all.
She has Luka back, and now they have each other again.
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drawlfoy · 4 years ago
Text
Wonders of Ohio - P.7
masterlist (catch up with the series here!)
request guidelines (yes i am taking them!)
pairing: draco x reader
request: no! this is my original idea 
summary: american high school senior is in for a surprise when her family takes on a foreign exchange student with a mysterious past.
warnings: teen drinking, mentions of an armed robbery, language, a brief hospital visit, and descriptions of illness
a/n: hey. so. this is definitely where stuff starts to go down. thanks so much for waiting...i have so many more things planned for this series and i’m thrilled to see it come together the way that it is right now. thank you very much for reading and thank you for your patience!
taglist: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @icintliviinyiniilsiji @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural
word count: 6k
song recs: 
murders - miracle musical
pink in the night - mitski
always, forever - cults
ice dance - ashton gleckman
enjoy!
Y/N should’ve felt cold when she awoke on the wet pavement. Despite a figure looming over her and blocking out most of the rain, the back of her neck and body was drenched in the cool water from the puddle to her right. It was easily in the mid 40s at this point in the evening, something that would ordinarily make her toes curl and her figure tremble, but it felt...different.
She felt like her insides had been scorched, like she’d downed an entire pitcher of boiling hot water. Every movement she made hurt--right down to wiggling her fingertips and her eyes. Her body was exhausted. If she hadn’t known any better, she would’ve thought that she’d just finished running a marathon in hell.
“Can you hear me?” A posh British voice cut through her musings as the figure above her came into focus. 
Draco.
“Yeah. Was there a fire?” Her words left her throat painfully, scratching their way up her vocal chords. 
“Er...what do you remember?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. The memories of the night slowly began trickling back--she’d done Draco’s tie, told him to watch his drink, argued with Chad about how funny he was, and walked to...Oh, yeah. The antique store. The box. The stars inside of her.
She flinched. “I fainted. I’m sorry. That was really stupid of me.”
“What?” Draco shifted back, the light from the front of the antique store catching his face. There were lines in his forehead that she’d never seen before. “Why?”
“I didn’t eat enough today,” said Y/N. Speaking was starting to feel less and less like lighting her trachea on fire. “I was really nervous and I lost my appetite. I’m an easy fainter.”
He cleared his throat. “Er, okay. Yeah. That was it. Anyways, we have to get home. You need to, uh, eat.”
“Okay.”
Y/N allowed herself to be hauled up onto her feet, swaying slightly once her full weight was on her feet. Her sense of gravity felt like it had been loosened. With every step, she felt pulled to the ground from a different part of her core.
“Steady. Don’t fall.” By some miracle, once Draco’s hands were gently guiding her shoulders, she was able to make her way to the backseat of Heather’s car before she collapsed.
“Where are we going?” asked Y/N. Despite no longer feeling like she was near death, her head was still cloudy. 
“Home,” was all Draco said as he slid in on the other side of the car. 
She didn’t bother putting on her seatbelt--she still felt like she was about to keel over--and rested her head on the car window. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Draco open the passenger car door for a moment, pause, shut it, and instead tug open the door across from her and slide in. 
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“My insides feel like they’re on fire.” Y/N winced as she tried to shift and get the weight off of her neck. “I think I’m sick.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” said Heather from the front, her eyes catching Y/N’s from the mirror. “You were just laying down in the middle of a rainstorm. Go home and take some Zi-cam or something, jesus.”
Y/N tried to chuckle in response, but it came out as a sorry squeak instead. No one made a move to further comment on the evening’s events as Heather pulled onto the freeway and began to gain speed. The sudden lurches and changes of speed in the car set Y/N’s stomach into a churning frenzy, her head growing light again. 
“Draco.”
Her voice was so soft it was hardly audible--the syllables jumbled together on her lips in a quiet mess--but he immediately snapped to attention.
“What is it?”
She took a deep breath. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“For the love of god, at least try and hold it until we get off the freeway.” 
“Shut up, Heather,” said Draco. Y/N couldn’t help but feel the slightest twinge of satisfaction as he rolled his eyes and turned his attention back on her. “Is it the motion? Are you sick from that?”
“I don’t know,” she managed. 
He sighed. “Helpful.”
“Dick.”
Draco frowned at her, but she could see the slightest twinkle of amusement in his eye. “Can you move into the middle seat for me? Do you need help?”
Once Y/N had scooted over from her side, he leaned away from her and pointed up to the sunroof above them. “Go ahead and count all the lights that you can see in the sky. I promise it’ll make you feel better. Just keep your head pointed up.”
She tilted her head back. The night sky was largely gloomy, but the flickering lights of the planes that dove in and out of clouds provided some glowing dots. As she counted, Heather hit the fog strips and nearly threw her back into her original seat. She felt a warm hand wrap around her wrist and gently grip, the long fingers completely encircling it. 
Y/N blinked. The nausea was gone. “What are you, a sorcerer or something?” she joked, not expecting to see Draco so frozen at the comment. “Kidding. I just feel better already. Thank you.”
He nodded and turned away to look out the window. His soft grip on her hand was long gone, and Y/N took Heather’s slightly uncoordinated driving as a cue to slide back into her seat and buckle up.
“If you really need to puke,” said Heather, “I have a Target bag back somewhere under the passenger seat. Please avoid the seats. They’re authentic vegan leather.”
“I don’t think that’s a thing.”
“Just don’t throw up, okay?” 
~
Y/N was in Art History when it happened. The chills began, so intense and teeth-chattering that her teacher took one look at her and sent her immediately to the nurse. Sylvia offered to walk her, but she was only allowed to under the condition that she avoid all physical contact with her and sanitized each surface that Y/N touched. It was a wonder she made it to the first floor office--each step felt heavier than the last, and from the beginning she felt moments from simply passing out. 
A temperature check revealed that she had a mild fever--100.3 F, to be exact--and a call home resulted in her mother’s full voicemail box and the remembrance that her parents were out for the week. 
“Can someone else drive you?” Nurse Hazelwood asked as she stepped away to douse her hands in hand sanitizer. “I don’t think you should get yourself home in this state.”
After some deliberation, it was decided that Sylvia would take her home and call someone for a ride back. It was a bit overkill--but she didn’t know what else to do.
“And can you make sure Draco has a ride home today?” Y/N asked as they pulled into the driveway of the Y/L/N home. 
“Stop stressing so much, dude.” Sylvia took the keys out of the ignition to give her an expectant look. “You’re sick. Go inside and make some soup or something. I’m sure your boyfriend will figure it out.”
“Now I really am gonna be sick,” said Y/N as she rolled her eyes. 
The rest of her afternoon was a blur. Y/N tried to force down some chicken soup, but it took all her might to keep it from coming right back up. It was safe to say her appetite was gone. 
After a failed attempt at walking up the stairs to crawl into bed, she collapsed onto the couch. The last thing she remembered was the sound of footsteps outside the front door.
~
Y/N hadn’t been to the hospital since she had to get stitches in middle school. Then, all she did was lie back in the chair and try to shut her eyes as the needle wove in and out of her torn thigh (bad bike accident, in case anyone was curious). But now was different. 
Her eyes hurt to open, like someone had thrown soap in them and the very line where her two lids met were lined with knives. Everything inside of her was on fire--a manic, all-consuming fire that made it impossible for her to keep anything down. 
The nurses and doctors were no help--not like Y/N actually had her eyes long enough to see any of them--but their voices were enough to let her know what was going on.
“Fever of 104--”
“Can’t keep anything down--”
“Severely dehydrated--”
“Tested negative for everything we tried--”
“Never seen anything like this before--”
“No viruses were detected--”
“Not mono--”
As she wove in and out of consciousness, one fact stuck in her mind: I think I might die here. Something is very wrong.
 When she did dream, images of the box she picked up plagued her mind. The symbol, etched lightly into the black top, glowed menacingly in her hands. Open it, open it something around her urged, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t.
It was during one of these dreams that her world suddenly shifted back to her hospital room. She was suspended above her body, looking down at the tangle of IVs and various other wires that imprisoned her...but she wasn’t alone.
The dim lighting and darkness outside confirmed her suspicion that it was indeed late at night. A figure, tall and slim, was sitting to her left. It was whispering something unintelligible as it gently took her hand and squeezed.
If Y/N could scream, she would’ve. The sudden pull back to her body was so strong that she was yanked across the room so she just barely hovered over her corporeal form. She could feel a grip, steady and firm, wrapped around her hand as a rush of cool ran through her. Each breath, each pulse, each heartbeat pulled her back to herself. It felt like a bucket of water had been poured over--into--her, extinguishing the flames that were eating away the inside of her.  
The figure’s whispering finally came to an end as she settled back into her physical body. Before she drifted off to a peaceful slumber, a familiar voice rose above the quiet whispers.
“I’m sorry.”
~
“Y/N!”
Her eyes shot open to see her mother, heavy eye bags and all, standing over her bed. “Hi Mo-”
“You scared me half to death!” Mrs. Y/L/N interrupted, placing her hand on her forehead. “No fever. Thank god. You know, when you were a baby, you were horribly ill with…”
Y/N sat and pretended she was listening as she relinquished in the fact that she was awake, she was here. The fire inside of her was long gone, replaced with the familiar...whatever was there before. Nothing? Maybe. Nothing was good, or at least better than the painful fire. It struck her with a sudden urgency that she had no idea what day it was, much less time. What about her homework? What about her UChicago application? Her counselor was supposed to submit her letter of rec a week ago...or a week ago from whenever she was brought to the hospital.
“Honey, are you even listening?” 
“Uh, yeah,” she said. 
“That’s what I thought. The food here is horrendous--of course you’re excited to go home.” Mrs. Y/L/N took her glasses off to wipe at the lens in a gesture that seemed more habitual and less effective. “You poor thing. Your father is still in New York--John simply couldn’t have him leave--but he’ll be back as soon as he can. Let’s get you out of here.”
The next few hours were a strange blur of paperwork, changes of clothes, and a bag of medication. The nurses and doctors were bewildered at her miraculous recovery and expressed this at every chance they had on her way out, reminding her to immediately seek attention if she feels anything similar again.
“What day is it?” Y/N finally asked once they were on the way home. 
“Wow, you really were out of it.” Mrs. Y/L/N flicked her blinker on as she merged onto the freeway. “Sunday. You were there almost a whole week.”
“Huh? What about school? Do my teachers know? How did Draco get to school? Is he ok?”
“Of course your teachers know, hun. They’re all being very forgiving with their late work policies. As long as you’re putting effort into learning the material you missed, they have no problem letting you skip out on the homework. As for Draco...I think he’s fine. Sylvia’s family took him under their wing for the week. He’s still alive.”
And such a statement was proven when Y/N walked through the front door. Draco shot up from his seat at the living room couch the moment they locked eyes, his hands wringing back and forth.
“You’re okay.”
“You’re okay too,” she responded airily. “When I wasn’t dying I was worrying myself about how you’d do without me. I see my fears of you walking into moving traffic didn’t come true, thank God.”
His lips, tight, offered her the slightest upturn. 
“Y/N, dearie, no need to harass the boy,” her mother said. “Up to your room. I’ll bring you some soup in a moment. You need to rest, young lady.”
She sent one last teasing grin at Draco before she was ushered up the steps, her mother fussing over her the entire way. 
~
“So,” Sylvia said, crossing her legs over the other and giving Y/N a wicked look, “Consider this your last formal invitation to my Halloween party. It’s this Friday. It’s not even the night before the ED deadline. You should go.”
“I don’t know, Vy,” said Y/N. Her art history notes lay untouched in front of her as the teacher droned on about something related to how mannerism as an art style came to fame during the...Reformation? She didn’t know. “I’m kind of tired. I feel bad about leaving Draco alone, too.”
“Dude.”
“What?”
Sylvia rolled her eyes. “Will you just do us all a favor and admit that you like him? It’s getting exhausting. Just ask him to come with you.”
“You’re absolutely off your rocker if you think I’m gonna do that,” Y/N said. 
“I’m just saying, you’ve done weirder things. Like almost dying from...literally nothing.”
“Hey, hey, don’t be rude. I’ll think about it but no guarantees. I don’t really think Draco is the partying type, though.”
“I’d be careful about making such a wild assumption. You never know what goes on in those posh private British schools for rich kids or wherever he went.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
Her friend laughed. “No. Just an optimist.”
Y/N swung the sleeve of her cardigan at her, whacking her pretty good on the bicep. If Sylvia was bothered by it, she didn’t show it. “Fine. I’ll ask him as a friend.”
“Pansy.”
~
Y/N was never the type to enjoy background noise as she worked, but there was something nostalgic about hearing the identical voices of her local news anchors in the room over as she sat at the kitchen table and worked on a last minute Physics review set. 
“Hey loser,” she called out as she saw a head of blond hair pass by her to get to the kettle. “Care to join me?” 
Draco turned, his mouth open and ready to issue a retort before he appeared to change his mind. He’d been oddly distant lately, avoiding her in the common spaces they often saw each other and choosing to get breakfast and his evening tea at times that he knew she wouldn’t be down in the kitchen for. Perhaps that was the reason why she was sitting at the kitchen table at present, but of course she’d never admit that. Not even to herself. 
“Can’t. I’m a bit busy with work.”
“Draco,” she chided. “What work is it? I can help you, you know.” 
He paused for a few seconds, taking in the scatter of papers on the table and the nearly complete review sheet. “The Physics review is taking me a bit of time,” he said, his tone forced and resigned.
“Go grab it!” She grinned as his scowl deepened. “If you’re nice I’ll let you copy.”
She lost track of time as they went over his work, his pencil marks filling the page with symbols that were unfamiliar to her.
“Your handwriting is really nice,” she noted. “Like, so nice that I feel like you could really make it as a study youtuber or a study blogger or whatever. You have that potential if you want to tap into it, dude.”
“I have no idea what that is,” he said neatly as he punched an equation into her calculator. 
“Fair.”
She sat still for a few more moments, watching as her study partner’s chest rose and fell with each breath he took. Sylvia’s Halloween party was just a few days away, and she needed to ask him at some point. Every time she mustered up the courage to open her mouth and hitch her breath, the words would die on her tongue. 
The silence weighed heavy in the air as the words of the news anchors floated over…”multiple reports of an armed robbery….suburbs surrounding Cincinnati...cautioned to lock doors...potential link to the missing persons case…”
“Draco,” she said finally. He jolted up from his work to gaze at her. His eyes were probably the prettiest things she’d ever seen--all pale and metallic and silvery. “Uh, I’m going to this Halloween party this Friday. You should come with me, it sounds like it’ll be fun. I think that Heather will be there.”
Y/N mentally groaned at her admission to Heather’s attendance but didn’t know what else to say. She wanted him to come--even if it was so he could spend the whole time being woo-ed over by her.
“Er,” he began, twirling his pencil around his fingers. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Homework, you know.”
“Just finish it before--That’s what I’m doing.”
“I think I’m go--”
The slam of the front door made both of them jump, scattering Y/N’s long forgotten work and threatening to knock Draco’s mug over.
“Hi kids,” Mrs. Y/L/N greeted as she entered the kitchen, an armful of grocery bags in tow. “Studying?” 
“Yeah,” Y/N answered. “By the way, Mom, Sylvia invited me over to her house on Friday for a sort of Halloween get together. Can I go?”
Her mother was silent for a few moments as she methodically unpacked the paper bags on the counter. 
“I don’t see why not. Is Draco coming too?”
“No,” he replied before Y/N even had the chance to open her mouth.
“I don’t think you should be home alone at night, my dear,” said her mother. “Have you seen the news? There’s someone on the loose. I’d feel much better if you were with Y/N--Robert and I are going to an auction that night. We won’t be around.”
“I’ll be fi--”
“If Y/N is going, you’re going,” Mrs. Y/L/N said as she finished unloading and brushed her hands off on her thighs. Her no nonsense demeanor rarely showed itself, but when it did, she was difficult to argue with. 
Y/N shrunk down in her seat as Draco sent her a sour look. 
Sorry she mouthed. If he noticed, he didn’t show it.
“Remind me again why we’re walking?” 
Draco’s snotty tone carried through the crisp fall air as they neared the street that Sylvia lived on. 
“Because,” said Y/N, “Quite frankly, I don’t think I can get through being in an enclosed space with Heather for an entire night without being at least a little buzzed. And I’m not gonna have you drive us home.”
“Hmph.” His dress shoes, odd pointed tips and all, kicked at the fall leaves below them. His costume was literally nothing different than what he wore when he arrived--a crisp white dress shirt, an oddly cut blazer, and a weird looking green and silver pin attached to his lapel. 
“If anyone asks,” she had told him from the hallway as they were getting ready to go that afternoon, “Just say you’re a corporate rat or something.” 
He’d snorted at her choice of clothing--a completely dark brown set up with a picture of a shoe taped to her chest. 
“I’m the shoe that that Iraqi reporter threw at Bush,” she had explained. 
He just stared.
“If you aren’t having fun, please just let me know,” Y/N said as they turned one of the last corners. “We can tell her our fish died or something. Sylvia would totally understand.”
“We don’t have a fish.”
“I know, genius,” she teased, giving him a little punch. Instead of balking, he just crinkled his nose. “But she doesn’t.”
“I think she does.”
“You’re missing the point. You’ll tell me if you want to go back home, promise?”
“I want to go home.”
“You’re going to be the death of me.” 
He grinned as they waited for Sylvia to open the door. 
The next few hours were a bit of a blur. Y/N didn’t drink much at first--maybe the equivalent of 2 or 3 shots, spaced out in between a couple of sips of water--but the energy in Sylvia’s home definitely had her more buzzed than usual. There was something about her home that always felt twice as spooky, a type of underlying energy that pulsed at the seams. 
To her surprise, Draco actually took a cup of whatever Sylvia offered him and downed it. She laughed when she saw him finally lower the cup as he furrowed his brow at her.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
His features looked softer in the dim lighting of Sylvia’s living room--all the tension that he carried in his shoulders and face seemed to be gone. When he smiled at her, it was all she could do to keep herself from disintegrating into the couch.
As the night wore on, Y/N felt herself getting progressively more tipsy, and, in her haze, she could see that Draco was going down a similar path. He was touchier than she would have expected--hanging onto her elbow or sleeve whenever Sylvia or Y/N said anything funny, not moving his leg when her thigh was pressed against his, stretching his arm out behind her and resting it on the back of the couch--and she found herself wishing she was sober enough for it to feel real. Maybe she was so drunk that she was imagining it all. Maybe she was actually asleep next to her toilet at home after throwing it all up and was just dreaming. 
“Fuck!” Someone exclaimed, prompting her to look up. Abby, a girl she kind of knew from her grade, had spilled the entirety of her drink on the coffee table.
“Y/N,” Sylvia whined, “I’m too tired to get the paper towels. Will you and Draco go?” 
Despite the half-hearted protests from Draco, she managed to haul him up by his arm as she pushed back the pleasure that Sylvia saw them as a sort of team, a sort of unit.
“I think she keeps the extra paper towels in her pantry,” she told him as they made their way over to the quiet part of the house. The light hanging over the kitchen island was on, but the rest of the room was bathed in darkness. 
“Right he--”
Y/N froze as she saw it--or, as she would come to discover, them. 
Heather and Chad stared back at them, looking much more disheveled than one is permitted simply sitting on the kitchen counter. It was hard to make it out clearly, but Heather’s cheeks looked flushed. Chad’s matched.
“In a fucking kitchen? Chad, I thought you were better than this,” Y/N said, turning and grabbing the paper towels from the cabinet behind them. “Get a room, you weirdos.”
Chad laughed, a short lived and awkward sound. 
Once they were back out in the living room, Y/N tossed the paper towels to Sylvia. “I think we’re gonna head back. We have to walk, you know.”
Sylvia dramatically threw herself back onto the couch. “I suppose. Thanks for coming guys, it was nice to see you outside of class again.”
“Likewise!” Y/N called over her shoulder as she walked out of the door with Draco by her side.
The walk home was silent for the first few moments. Despite the fact that it was late October, the night was pleasantly crisp and not too cold. The only sources of illumination were the scattered street lights, casting a soft orange hue on the two.
As they turn the corner onto the main street, Y/N’s shoe caught on a crack in the pavement in a movement that would’ve sent her sprawling face-first into the cold concrete if it hadn’t been for Draco’s hand grabbing her own and yanking her back up.
“Thanks,” she said. His hands were warmer than usual despite the coolness of the air.
He just sent her a small smile as he untangled their fingers and placed his hand back into his pants pockets.
“Weird to see Chad and Heather, right?” Y/N nudged him with her shoulder. To her surprise, he nudged back.
“I guess. I thought it was obvious, though.”
“What?! No way.”
“Are you blind? Heather’s been all over Chad,” he said.
“Are you? I thought she was obsessed with you!” 
“No, definitely not.”
“Are you sure about that?” she asked, turning to look at him. The dim glow of the streetlights made his hair look almost like a halo. “She wouldn’t leave you alone.”
“Dunno.” Draco shrugged. It was then that Y/N remembered how much he’d had that night.
“I’m sorry. I know you’re probably not in the right mindset to be analyzing other people right now,” said Y/N. 
His lips twitched upwards. “No, no, it’s ok. I’m fine. I just couldn’t be bothered over the whole ordeal. Entirely uninspiring, I think.”
“You’re such a nerd, even when you’re drunk,” teased Y/N. “It’s honestly a wonder that you spent the first month near failing physics.”
“Sod off.” He nudged her again, hard enough to make her sway. “You’re the one who’s still an insufferable smartass. I figured drinking would make you more tolerable.”
“Don’t be a dick,” she muttered as she shoved him back. “You know you love me.”
He froze in the middle of his retaliatory shove, his hand rested on her forearm.
“Sarcasm, king,” said Y/N. “I don’t mean it. I wouldn’t blame you if I were right, though. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m quite the commodity.” 
“Oh, yes, most certainly.” His tone was dripping in faux genuity as he gave her a gentle push. 
As he was doing this, Y/N grabbed the offending arm and took him down with her, landing in the soft garden bush in poor Ms. McCoyle’s front yard.
“Gotcha!” she cheered as he frowned from his spot on top of her. It took all her might to ignore the fact that his face was inches away. “It’s just my smart physics brain at work.”
 “Your neighbor is gonna kill us.”
“She can try.” 
Draco sat up, grabbing her hand and hauling her to her feet. She took the opportunity to hang onto the sleeve of his coat as a sneaking suspicion overtook her that things wouldn’t be like this again without the clever excuse of intoxication. 
“What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
Y/N let go of his sleeve to look up at his face in confusion. She followed his eyes, suddenly hardened with an emotion she couldn’t quite place, to their house at the end of the street.
“You shut the door behind us, right?” Draco asked.
“And locked it.”
Their front door, hanging wide open and swinging in the breeze, told a different story.
Sobering up was easy once the police sirens showed up and searched their house. Y/N could tell the responding sheriff knew they’d been drinking, but since they weren’t driving and were speaking clearly, he didn’t mention anything.
“We’ve searched the house,” he told them as they sat together outside on the curb. “It looks like it fits the profile of the other armed burglaries in the area, but nothing was taken this time. The bedroom that looks out into the garden is completely trashed--it seems like the suspect was looking through your things for something. The bedroom across the hall was displaced a bit, but nothing compared to the first.” He took another look at his notes, adjusting the thick rimmed glasses that were perched on his nose. “You kids are lucky. Whoever this is means business. There’s unfortunately not much we can do except set up a patrol to watch over the street for now. Please give us a call if you see anything or hear anything.”
They nodded. Y/N had placed a call to their parents while they waited a safe distance from the home for the police to arrive. She’d been shaking as she pressed their number into her phone, and Draco, to his credit, rested his hand on her thigh.
“We’ll be fine,” he’d said before retracting it. “Don’t worry.”
Draco seemed considerably calm for someone experiencing a home break in in a foreign country as they made their way into the house. The first responders had left the lights on, and the wash of LED bulbs did nothing to hide the disturbance of her bedroom. Everything of hers was thrown into the middle of the room from her drawers, closet, and dresser. Her laptop, open and plugged in, was left completely untouched.
“Draco,” she said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Depends, what is it?” 
Y/N noted that he was getting considerably paler as they stood in her doorway. “I don’t think I can sleep here. Knowing what happened. Especially when it’s still a disaster.”
“Understandable.”
His features looked hardened again, like he’d gone through a filter of seriousness. She decided that this was probably her last chance to ask for any act of intimacy before the effects of alcohol dissipated in his system. “And I don’t want to sleep alone.”
“Er...Oh.” He stared at her. “What?”
“I know that this is really awkward, but can I, like, sleep on your floor or something? Just for tonight.” When she swallowed her throat felt painfully dry. “I don’t snore or anything. It’ll be like I’m not even there.”
Draco sucked in a long breath, casting his eyes up to the ceiling. Y/N wished she knew what he was thinking about. “Yeah. That’s fine.”
“Thank you thank you thank you,” she sang, darting into her room to grab a blanket and a pillow as he watched wordlessly by the doorframe.
The walk to his room was dead silent except for their sounds of shock when they saw the broken glass in the middle of the floor. 
“I think that was from the picture frame,” Y/N said as she carefully walked into the middle of the room. Sure enough, a framed photo of her and their late dog that had been left on the wall was face down on the carpet. 
“Is this when you ask me to sleep in my bed, too?” quipped Draco as he sidestepped the wreckage and sat on the opposite side of the queen mattress.
“Um...we can make a pillow barrier so we don’t touch.”
He rolled his eyes and tossed his blazer over his chair as he took off his shoes and buttonup, leaving nothing but his undershirt and dress pants. “I’m going to get changed. If you’re asleep before I get back, this is me saying goodnight.”
With that, he grabbed something from his dresser and walked into his bathroom, Y/N ripped off the picture of the shoe and placed her phone on the bedside table. Before she knew it, she was completely passed out.
It was barely dawn when she next woke up. Her head was heavy--no doubt the beginnings of a hangover--but she’d never felt more electrified.
A small huff prompted her to look to her left where Draco was just a few movements away from her. He was very clearly still sleeping, each breath leaving his lips with a whisper. His hand, draped over the covers, was millimeters away from touching her. The pink of the sunrise made his hair, now ruffled and sticking up in the side, glitter in the light. She resisted the urge to reach out and brush it away from his face.
Y/N lay there, admiring the boy sleeping next to her, until the urgency of her situation struck her. She was absolutely parched, and if she wanted to mitigate the damage she’d already done, it was in her best interest to drink a glass of water and take 4 Ibuprofen. 
With a sigh, she quietly slid out from under Draco’s covers and made her way to her room, careful to avoid the glass scattered all about. She knew she had a packet of Ibuprofen somewhere in one of her dresser drawers.
The pile in her room was bigger than she remembered. She began by just throwing her clothes that had been on the ground onto her bed, sorting through everything in rough categories. When this proved unhelpful, she turned to the mini pile by her door which, to her surprise, had a few sweatshirts that definitely weren’t hers.
Draco she thought absentmindedly as she combed through the pile. Aha. A small green pouch, just like the one she kept her over the counter medications in.
Her hands struggled to undo the tie--Did she normally knot it like that?--as she admired the lining. She never noticed that the edges had silver thread stitched in. 
Once she finally opened it up, she grabbed her water bottle and prepared to be faced with a variety of pill bottles as she tipped it over; however, what came out was very different.
A collection of letters. Namely, Draco’s. She knew it was wrong, but he was sleeping, and every letter looked official, stamped with a seal and etched with some sort of crest. They couldn’t have been that personal.
After a bit of bargaining, she decided to open one. If it was personal, she made the deal with herself to put it away and never speak of it again. 
The parchment was heavy and clearly expensive. Her hands were shaking as she unfolded the first one, feeling guilty the whole way.
Foreign words flooded her vision. It wasn’t like the letter was written in a foreign language--but there were so many terms she didn’t understand. 
Death eater...Voldemort...Crimes against the ministry...Conspiracy against Dumbledore...Hogwarts-sanctioned punishment...
She read on until a word popped out that made sense--Magic. And there it was again--Magic. Wizard. Magic.
Swallowing hard, she shoved the letter back into the envelope and opened one more. This one was much more coherent.
“Dear Mr. Draco Lucius Malfoy of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy:
       It has been made apparent to us that, while serving the punishment of your accused crimes, you have unlawfully used magic (namely, a Glamour spell) in front of a muggle. Consider this to be your first strong warning. One more slip up and the Ministry will be forced to reconsider your dropped sentence of Azkaban.
Sincerely and warmly,
The Ministry of Magic -- Justice Sector”
What. What the fuck. What the fuck.
Her racing mind was put to a screeching halt at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. 
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Text
Emergency! Part 3
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Summary: A woman comes back from her trip from Asia but isn’t feeling the best. And is rushed to the hospital. Her symptoms are that of the flue, but worse than. The virus spreads throughout the hospital, Jack falls ill collapsing in the break room. Dean falls ill on a rescue, Cas having to rescue the original victim and his partner. The reader, having to sit by and wait and pray for her friends pull through. But turns out the original patient with the virus got better, now her body has the antibodies to fight the virus.
Pairing: Firefighter!Dean x Nurse!Reader
Word Count: 4,262
Warnings: Scary Situations, Language, Mild Angst, Fluff.
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Mobile Masterlist
a/n: I could use the corona virus or COVID-19 but decided to use the virus used in the Emergency! Episode of the same name. The virus being a strain of the Asian flu during a bad outbreak in the late 60’s. Also the drugs and measure mentioned are probably not accurate, I’m not a pharmacist.
a/n2: D.O.N = Director of Nursing, DOA = Dead on Arrival, BP = Blood Pressure, O2 Sat = Oxygen Saturation
~
“Dean,” Cas says, walking into the fire stations garage.
Dean was logging supplies in the squad truck when he heard Cas enter and got his attention.
“What’s up Cas?”
“When you started dating Y/N, when did you know she was the one?”
“What do you mean?”
“I really like Meg, and when she was taking care of me after that accident of mine I found that she and I have a lot in common and I want to know her more?”
“Well, Cas, it’s different for other people. Just ask Meg out. Talk to her, find out stuff about her that she likes, hates, and if you can find yourself still able to love her despite her flaws. Keep it going. Keep taking her out.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Nothing in life is simple man.”
Cas nods in agreement.
The alarm sounded in the station.
“Squad 51, someone sick. Respond. 226 south Jasper’s Avenue, cross street South Walker boulevard.”
“Back at it again.” Cas says.
“Let’s hit it.”
Dean getting into his usual spot in the squad, revving the engine to life and heading to the location.
When they arrived, another station had arrived originally.
Dean and Cas gathered their tools and headed into the residence.
“Chuck, what do you got?” Cas asked.
“Kelly McMeyers, 22, her dad said she was fine at breakfast.”
They followed Fireman Chuck through the house to the girl’s bedroom to find her on her bed, sweating, pale and in obvious discomfort and pain.
Dean placed a hand on her head.
“She’s burning up, Cas, get the thermometer.”
Cas did as told handing the thermometer to Dean.
Dean placed in the girls mouth, under her tongue. Cas handing him the blood pressure cuff.
Dean began checking her Blood pressure.
“Get the radio, we need to tell the hospital.” Dean orders.
Cas, pulls out the radio of it’s holster on his belt.
“Rampart, this is rescue 51. Rampart this is rescue five one.” Cas radios in.
 It was a normal slow day at the hospital, y/n having finished her charting, getting reading for her lunch break.
“Rampart this is rescue 51,” she heard Cas’s voice over the radio.  “Rampart this is rescue Five one.”
She picks up the hand piece to the hospital’s radio to respond.
“Go ahead 51.”
“Rampart we have a female, Kelly McMeyers, 22 years of age.” Cas transmits.
 “BP is 129 over 80, O2 Saturation is…”
Dean places a hand over her chest, watching it rise and fall. Counting in his head. But scolding with the low number he came up with.
“Did you pack the pulse Oximeter?”
“I did.” Cas says, handing it to him.
“I got to double check before I give you the wrong number.”
Dean turned on the device, and placing it on her finger.
“Still reading low, O2 Sat, 85.” Dean says.
“O2 sat is 85. Temperature is coming up…”
Dean pulls out the thermometer.”
“105.” He reads.
“Temperature is 105.”
 y/n was shocked she had a temperature that high.
“51, standby, a doctor will be with you shortly.”
“10-4.”
 “I just don’t understand, she was fine at breakfast, it happened so suddenly.” The girl’s father expressed.
“Some of these things do happen rather quickly.”
“Could be the Asian Flu?” Chuck suggests. Playing with the girl’s pet monkey.
“Well, let’s not jump to any conclusions until a doctor can see her.” Cas says.
“Kelly, sweetheart, can you hear me?” Dean asks.
The girl nods groggily.
“She’s really drowsy.” Cas mentions.
“Kelly, are you in any pain at all?” Dean asks.
“My head hurts, my chest hurts too.” She whines.
“She threw up a bit before you got here Winchester.” Chuck mentions.
 “51, this is doctor Singer.”
“Rampart, we have new information, patient is experiencing head and chest pain, she’s drowsy and vomited a few times before we arrived.”
“Alright, start IV, lidocaine, two milligrams. And just in case what she has is contagious keep contact with the patient to an absolute minimum.”
“10-4 Rampart.” Cas says.
“I’ll get the IV going, if you want to get the ambulance here Chuck.”
“Already ahead of you, they should be here by now.”
Sirens are heard in the distance, as if on cue.
“How about that timing?” Cas says.
“Alright, she’s set, lets get her to the hospital.” Dean says.
Just as more paramedics came in, Dean grabbed the equipment as Cas walked out with the patient.
Chuck still petting the monkey.
“I love monkeys, bet he’d be a cute pet to have.” He says.
“Yeah, but they’re not meant to be pets Chuck.”
“Yeah, I know. But, cute little guy, isn’t he?”
The monkey sat on his pole that stood in the room. And the monkey started walking over to Dean, walking on his shoulder, messing with his hat.
“Hey, stop,” he told the monkey while trying to shake him off gently.
The monkey got back on his pole as Dean walked out to the squad.
 At the hospital, Y/N, Doctor Singer assisted in the patient, Kelly McMeyer, as Doctor Singer preformed a spinal tap.
Just as he pulled out the needle, gathering spinal fluid, Doctor Kline walks in.
“What’d you got Bobby?”
“Possible strain of the flu, her symptoms are consistent with that of the Asian flu, but the incubation period is too fast. Her symptoms came up quick, she was fine at breakfast.”
“Do we know where she’s been lately?”
“All over southeast Asia, Kelly and her friends were part of her church’s mission trip in assisting kids in orphanages, and adoption homes. Fixing them up, helping kids get adopted. And her dad took her camping when she got back. Took her to the Black Hills in South Dakota.” y/n explained.
“That opens us up to a whole array of fevers, and of course flus. China is always riddled with noval viruses we’ve never seen nor dealt with. And of course, there’s ones we’ve dealt with her, rocky mountain spotted fever, lymes disease, or even parasitic infections. Fungal infections that could have originated from her camping trip.” Jack explained.
“Did Kelly have any kind of protection on either trip?” Jack asked.
“Her dad made sure she packed, bug spray, tick spray, and they had nets around their camp to prevent nats and other flying insects from getting in the tents.” Y/N says.
“So, in which case, we’re back to, what did she catch when she was in China. Because chances of her getting anything on the camping trip are slim I’m guessing.”
“Her dad was pretty adamant that they were covered for their trip. He didn’t want anyone getting sick.”
Jack nods.
“Let’s get some blood work, see if we can’t find the answer in there.”
“You got it doctor.” y/n says, getting her hands sanitized, and ready to draw some blood.
 “Dean, your shift was done an hour ago, go home!” His father ordered.
“Just finishing up the logs for the day.”
“Cas can finish it up for you, he at least goes home in an hour. Now go.”
“Yes sir, you sure you got this man?” Dean asks.
“Dean, I got it. Go home and rest. See you in two days.”
Dean handed Cas the papers for logging their day, what all happened, their end result. He grabbed the keys to his Impala and drove on home.
He could tell he was exhausted. At a stop light he had to really will himself to stay awake just a few more miles.
But as he got to another stop light, he knew he was too tired to be driving.
Y/N’s apartment wasn’t far. He moved lanes before her street came up and Dean drove to her apartment. Giving her a call to make sure she was either up or home.
“Hey Handsome, how was your day?” she asked.
He could hear the background of the hospital.
“Exhausting. Are you still at work?”
“Yeah, another late one. Why? Are you in the area?” she asked. Sounding concerned.
“I’m really exhausted, and I don’t think I’m gonna make it home. I was thinking on crashing at your place.”
“You can stay there Dean; my key is by my hanging plant. I think your clothes from last time are still there.”
“Thanks baby, where would I be without you?”
“Dead in a ditch because you’ve run yourself ragged, now hurry to my place and get to bed. I’ll home when I can.”
“Love you sweetheart.” He says with a tired smile, pulling into her apartment complex.
“Love you more Winchester, sleep well.” She says.
He parked his car near where she parked. Walking up tiredly up to her apartment he found her key easily.
He headed inside, placing the key back but also locking up behind him as he got himself settled.
She had since gotten a new apartment since the plane crash; sure she was farther away from the hospital, but she was closer to him by several blocks.
He had gotten out of the shower, feeling a little bit better, but he climbed into his side in her bed. Pulling the covers over him, and falling fast asleep once his head hit the pillow.
She had hurried with her charting, her replacement nurse coming in late. But at least she showed up.
She hurried to her car to get on home.
She saw Dean’s car parked next to her spot on the street. She parked her car right behind his.
She quietly entered the apartment. Leaving the lights off she navigated to her room seeing his sleeping form in her bed. Sound asleep.
She made her shower quick and simple, washing off the stress of the day and relaxing enough so she could fall easily asleep.
She climbs into bed beside him. He tossed, turning towards her, wrapping his arms around her.
Poor dude was exhausted. But Dean was no fool, he loved being the little spoon. Maybe too much. But when it was her, he didn’t care too much.
 Days followed, and the original patient began to go downhill. Her fever wasn’t breaking.
Y/N had finished getting Kelly’s vitals, updated her chart. She headed back out to the nurses station when she saw an ambulance dropping off a new patient.
“What do we have?” she asked.
“Fireman, Chuck Shirley. Stricken with a fever, 104 temp, slightly elevated BP.” One of the paramedics informed.
“He was fine at lunch time.” His wife said behind the paramedics.
“Are you his wife?” Y/N asked.
“I am, my name’s Becky.”
“Okay, I’ll escort you to the waiting room. I’ll keep you informed of your husbands situation.” y/n told her.
Becky nodded, and she was lead to the waiting room. Y/N walked back into one of the exam rooms.
Hours passed as the doctors looked over Chuck, they learned one thing in common.
He responded to Kelly McMeyers.
“I want everyone who responded to get checked out. Clearly we are up against something contagious.” Jack orders.
“I’ll get right on it.” y/n says.
 As the day wore on, Y/N had called all the stations that responded, the ambulance and even called up her boyfriend personally.
“Afternoon beautiful.” Dean answers.
“Hey babe, you responded on the Kelly McMeyers right?”
“I did, me and Cas both, why?”
“Chuck Shirley is sick with the same symptoms as Kelly, and Dr. Kline has ordered you two to come in and get checked out.”
“Is it really that bad?”
“Dean, Chuck looked bad. Come in, please.” She practically whined.
“Okay, I will. Don’t worry sweetheart. I have to come down for supplies anyway, I’ll bring Cas along.”
“Thank you. See you soon.”
Just as Dean and Cas left the hospital after giving their blood samples to be checked for any virus or uprising in white blood cell count. Questions rose to how and where the original patient got sick.
“Whatever this Kelly chick has must be bad.” Dean says as he drove back to the station.
“Must be, if she didn’t get while camping then where?” Cas asks.
For a beat there was a pause.
“The same place where she got her pet monkey.” Cas says.
“You really think that monkey is the carrier?” Dean asks, unsure.
“Think about it Dean. It’s always animals in other countries that carry all these scary viruses. Swine flu came from pigs. Avian flu came from birds. The Asian flu came from, well, Asia but it was ducks. What if, this monkey one of those viruses and was somehow able to transmit it overseas?” Cas explained.
“You should really be a doctor something, damn Cas.” Dean says, impressed with the information Cas was able to share.
“Also think of the movie Outbreak.”
“Dude, that wasn’t even a real virus.”
“No, but it was a real situation that can really happen. It’s the worst case scenario. But it was a monkey carrying a mutated version of the virus.”
“I think you’re onto something Cas.” Dean says, digging around in his pockets.
“Here, call my girlfriend, tell her what you told me.”
“Okay.” Cas says.
 “Hello?”
“Y/N, it’s Cas, you got a minute?”
“How’s Dean?” she asked concerned right away.
“Oh, he’s fine, we were just talking about the victims. She brought home a pet monkey from China. And Chuck was playing with it.”
“That is actually something Cas, thanks. Is there anything else we need to know?”
“Not really, but just for the fact that this monkey might carry a virus that could kill Kelly and our friend.”
“And you’re spot on, on that. I’ll tell Jack and Bobby. Thanks Cas.”
 At the hospital, the two doctors were at the nurses station when Cas called. Their attention on her when she seemed surprised with the information he given her.
“Cas of squad 51 just told me Kelly brought home a pet monkey from China. And that Chuck played with it.”
“That’s something, Bobby, get someone to go with Kelly’s dad back to his house. Get the monkey and bring the little guy in.”
“You got it Jack.”
 Cas had handed Dean his phone back.
“You know, Cas,” he says.
Cas doesn’t say anything but has his attention.
“I kind of played with the monkey too.”
 The next following day, Kelly was slowly getting better. But Chuck was taking a turn for the worse. His fever wasn’t breaking.
Jack goes into Kelly’s room to talk to her about her monkey.
A nurse was already in the room taking care of her.
“Abaddon why aren’t you wearing your mask?”
“Oh, sorry Doctor its just—”
“No excuses, you’re taking an unnecessary risk. Not only would you be putting your life at risk, you’re putting everyone else’s lives at risk as well.”
With that she put her mask over her mouth and nose.
“Kelly,” Jack says.
She opened her eyes slowly giving the doctor his attention.
“We got your pet down in the lab. Now, was he ever sick when you had him?”
“Yes, just after I bought him. He had a bad cold, and threw up a bit too.”
“Well in order to help the fireman, and you as well, we may have to put him down so we can perform an autopsy.”
“No, you can’t!” she cried. “I don’t know what I’d do without Oreo!”
“Kelly, it’s the only chance we have at saving lives.”
The tears that built up in the girls eyes fell. Jack took his gloved finger by her cheek, brushing away the tears that fell.
“If you’re right about that,” she swallows thickly. “Then you can take Oreo.”
“Could help you too Kelly.” Abaddon says.
“I know.”
Jack gave a sad smile through his mask.
He doffed off his PPE by the door and left her room to give the go ahead.
 “Dean, we have a group of kids from Jefferson Elementary School to come in for a tour, can you help Gabe clean up the garage real quick.”
“Dad, I’m really exhausted, can you get Cas to do it?”
“It’s not like you to complain, come on now. He’s busy with the logs, come on it won’t take long.”
The alarm sounded.
“Never mind.” John says.
“Station 51, medical emergency. At the top of the Wells Fargo bank at 5535 Woodland Boulevard. Cross street Jackson Avenue.”
The men and women at station 51 jumped into action.
 At the location they climbed up the stairs after they reached the max floor the elevator would allow to go.
“What happened?” John asked one of the men working on the roof.
“Jimmy was over the edge cleaning the windows and he let out a yell, and I saw him collapse. I tried getting him on this thing but it’s jammed.”
“We’ll get him, we’ll hoist one of my paramedics down to get a line on him and we’ll bring him up.” John assured.
“I’ll go.” Dean says.
“Why don’t we just swing the lift through a window?” Cas asks.
“There wouldn’t be a safe way to do it. Just, get me down to him. Drop a line for him and he’ll be up here before you can say Bobs your uncle.” Dean says.
“Just be careful man.” Cas says.
“I will dude.”
Dean has the ropes around him, his harness, Gabe, Michael and Raphael anchored his rope as they helped lower him down.
“Okay, more slack!” Dean shouts as he got closer to the victim.
He got safely on to the lift and began to work the rope around the victim so they could lift him up.
But Dean’s vision began to spin. His hands came up to hold the support of the lift.
“Dean, you okay!?” Cas shouts from the ledge.
“Yeah!”
Dean hurries to get the rope around the victim and tries to work on tying the knot.
His dizziness got worse, and worse. Just as he was about to ask for help, Dean passes out.
His body falling off of the lift, and hangs by his harness off of the ledge.
“Try lifting him up a bit!” Cas ordered.
The three brothers tried pulling the rope slightly.
Cas could see Dean wasn’t getting any higher.
“No, stop, he’s tangled. I’m gonna have to head down there.” Cas says.
He heads over to Charlie who handed him some rope, getting the lopes around him, and working his harness on.
Cas hurries over the ledge.
Gabe, Michael, and Raphael tied Dean’s rope to hold him steady as they lowered Cas down to the lift.
“More slack!” Cas ordered as he got closer.  
Cas removed his work gloves to check the victims pulse.
“He’s in full cardiac arrest!” Cas shouts out, communicating.
Cas finishes what Dean had going. Connecting the loops around the victims arms and legs making a makeshift harness.
“Okay, lift him up!” Cas calls out.
The victim slowly rising as Gab, Michael and Raphael pulled the rope lifting the victim up.
“Dean, can you hear me man?” Cas asked, trying to lift Dean onto the lift.
He didn’t respond. He was out cold.
Cas furrowed his brow as he grew concerned for his friend.
“Okay, lift him up!” Cas ordered.
Cas seen the original victim made it over the ledge safely. And Dean began to slowly rise up to the top.
Once everyone was safely up, they got Cas up as well.
Cas helped with the cardiac victim while Charlie and the others assisted with Dean.
 Y/N sat at the nurses station charting her days work about ready to head home when an ambulance and squad approached the door.
She quickly typed up her report, saving it and sending it to her Director, she went to assist the paramedics.
Her heart dropped when she saw one of the patients being wheeled in.
“Dean.”
“Patient one was DOA, heart attack. Dean has a fever of 104.” Cas says.
“Okay, there’s an exam room open, lets get him in there. I’ll page Dr. Singer.”
“Where’s Jack?” Cas asked.
“He’s sick too. He was about to treat Kelly and Chuck when he collapsed. His fever is 103 and climbing.”
“How is Chuck?”
“Not doing well. Let’s focus on Dean please.” Y/N said, keeping the tears of fear at bay.
 Dean was all settled in a room later that night.
“Y/N.” Bobby says as he entered Dean’s room.
“Dr. Singer.”
“Your director doesn’t want you treating him. It’s against ethics.”
“I know. I’m off the clock.”
“Then what are you still doing here?”
“Oh, forgive me for staying by my boyfriend’s side.”
“Y/N, you’re D.O.N is on the other side of the this door. Relax.” He whispered.
“Bobby, I can’t think straight right now. I want to stay by his side, if that’s alright.”
“You can’t just stop everything because he’s sick. The CDC got back to us on the virus, you know this. It’s a strain of the Asian flu, a newer mutated strain. We have a drug we can use.”
She sighs, rubbing her face hard, trying to not get frustrated with herself.
“I know. I just want to know he’s going to be okay is all.”
“You love him. I know. But you have to still live life. Because that don’t stop. You got to keep going kid.”
She nods. “I’m guessing I can’t stay with him due to isolation protocol.”
“You got it. but once he’s better, you can.” She nods again.
“Please, keep me in the loop with him.”
“I’m sure Meg will. Cas was already on her case about him.”
She chuckles with a nod.
“Go home and rest. He’ll still be here tomorrow.”
She nods, leaving with a slump in her shoulders. Heading to her car. Driving quietly home.
It wasn’t until she got out of her shower, and laid in her empty bed did she let her walls come crumbling down.
A sob escaped from her, shaking her to her core.
“God, Dean. Please be okay.” She sobbed.
 The next day, she heads into work trying to focus on her patients.
She learned from one of the over night nurses that Chuck passed away.
Her anxiety already being high enough with her boyfriend being sick with the same virus, but the same virus that killed a fireman.
She headed up to Dean’s room where Meg walked out. Sweating after being in her PPE for some period of time.
“How is he?” she asks.
“Not good. His fever is not even breaking. He had the first 100 Milligrams of Idoxuridine.”
“Has it been two hours?”
“Close, it’s been about an hour and fifty minutes since last dose.”
“Give him another dose of it. Same for Jack if he’s not getting better.”
“Sure thing, I’m sure Bobby will understand.”
Y/N nodded as Meg went back inside to give Dean another dose of the drug.
Y/N headed back to the nurses station to chart her first half of the shift when her D.O.N approached the desk.
“Y/N, I was told you were by Dean’s room yet again. This time on the clock.”
“Sorry Jody, I just—”
“It’s okay, really. Bobby can be a hard ass sometimes, and I know I can be too. But my husband gets sick really easily. And I’d do the same thing you’re doing.” She says.
“Thank you…” she hesitates.
“I have your replacement coming in so you can see him and be with him. Once Donna gets here, go to him.”
“Thank you, thank you.” She says, as tears rise to the surface.
“It’s not a problem.” Jody smiles.
 Days pass as the doctors and nursing staff cared for Dean and Jack for the virus.
Y/N stayed day and night, her D.O.N giving her the week off on FMLA.
She had lost track of the days when she finally allowed herself to sleep.
Kelly was fully recovered and the doctors and nursing staff encouraged her to donate some blood so they can use her antibodies in her blood to donate to Dean and Jack so they have a fighting chance.
His fever finally broke, he was getting better. She could close her eyes and he’d still be there.
She woke that night to a hand on her head, playing with her hair.
She stirred awake to find Dean awake and well.
“Hey.” She says tiredly.
“Hey.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.” He answers. “Babe, did you stay here all day?”
“Dean, it’s been a week. You’ve been out for a week.”
“Damn…but still, you’ve been here all week?”
“Yes. You scared me.” She says. Taking his hand and placing it on her cheek.
His thumb brushing against her cheekbone. Catching a tear that fell.
“Well I’m sorry for scaring you. But you’re worrying me, did you take care of yourself while you were here?”
“Not really. Haven’t been hungry. I’m not sick or anything.”
“I know, you’ve told me that you’ll get this way. Either in a good way, like an innocent way of binging your favorite show and forgot to eat. Or in a bad way, like this.”
“Let me get Meg and tell her you’re awake.”
Just as she says that, Meg comes walking in.
“Jack’s awake…oh Dean’s awake too.” She says.
“Yeah, he is.” Y/N Says tiredly.
“I’ll get Dr. Singer so we can see when you can go home. And get Y/N to a bed, she hasn’t slept much since she stayed here.”
“Really, not eating or sleeping.”
“She was worked up. who could blame her?” Meg asked.
“True.”
Meg left the room to get Bobby.
Dean not saying a word, pulls Y/N’s arm guiding her in the bed with him.
She happily got in, curling into his side.
He felt a residual tremble shudder through her body.
“Shh, I’m here baby. I’m not going anywhere.” He says.
Not even a tiny virus would tear up this team.
~
A/N: Did you enjoy? How are you liking it so far? Favorites yet? Feedback is fuel and much appreciated. :3
~
Dean Girls:
@pandazombie69​, @luci-in-trenchcoats​, @supernatural-jackles​, @becs-bunker​, @winchesters-favorite-girl​, @jayankles​, @jeaniespiehs20​, @mlovesstories​, @akshi8278​, @flamencodiva​, @anotherspnfanfic​, @megzdoodle​, @lyarr24​
~
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago
Text
noir 1/2 bucky barnes x vampire!reader
+++++++++
part 1 part 2
i had thought about making a part three with smut in it so if thats something you would like to see please let me know and ill finish it lol
Song: my name is human by highly suspect
tag list: @cynic-spirit
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I sat at the table across from James and watched as he looked around nervously. We had already ordered drinks but not much conversation had gone on yet.
"This isn't really your scene is it?"
I asked and he finally looked at me, brows raised like I'd caught him off guard.
"Uh, my uh, last date didn't go so well."
He said and I nodded.
"I'll drink to that."
I raised my glass to him before taking a drink. He let out a short laugh before looking away again.
"So, James, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself."
I said and he cleared his throat.
"Well for starters uh you can call me bucky, that's what my friends call me."
I nodded slowly, he seemed like he was reminiscing for a moment.
"Um I'm a hundred and six."
He said lightly and I laughed. He looked nervous again.
"If you're a hundred and six then so am I."
I quipped back and he seemed shocked.
"Right."
A nervous laugh. Cute. I took another drink.
"No seriously."
I said and he nodded.
"I'm not really one for mockery."
He said stoically and I shook my head.
"No, no, don't take it that way! I'm not either. I'm sorry it came off that way."
I said quickly and I could see him shift to rub his gloved hands together under the table.
"In all actuality 1917 was a pretty interesting year, if I'm doing my math correct."
He drew his brows.
"It was?"
He asked and I nodded.
"Well it's not every day America joins a world war, late to the party as usual but still. Don't get me wrong there was a lot that happened that year but that was probably the most memorable. My husband at the time was drafted that September."
He looked even more confused than he did earlier, his brows almost touching at this point if it weren't for the frown line between them.
"I know it's impolite to ask a woman her age but exactly how old are you?"
He asked quizzically and I looked up to think for a moment.
"Uh, this year on my actual birthday I will be two... Hundred and... Eight? I think?"
He laughed before taking a drink, finally smiling.
"Great."
He said before leaning over and pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.
"This was fun."
He said, slapping a twenty on the table and moving to stand.
"Bucky wait!"
He paused and looked back at me.
"Can we talk... Somewhere a little more private?"
I asked and he sighed, looking to the ground.
"Fine."
I stood quickly to match him, grabbing my bag off the back of the chair and following him outside. When we made it out the door I saw him tense a little bit, glancing to me a few times as we lazed down the sidewalk.
"Are you cold?"
He asked, reaching for his jacket zipper and I stopped him.
"No, no, I'm perfect, thank you though. You probably need it more than me."
There was the confused look again.
"You're probably trying to figure me out aren't you?"
He sighed, half shaking his head as he looked to the ground ahead of us.
"I guess I'm just trying to figure out why you would lie to me? Forgive me for being blunt but that's at least how it seems, even after I told you I didn't like being mocked."
I laughed a little.
"Bucky I didn't lie to you. My situation is - complicated."
He looked over me again.
"I am two hundred and eight, that wasn't a lie. Or, at least I don't think it was, it's hard to remember after all these years the exact number. But I was born in 1815 in new York after my mother immigrated to the states. It was a rough childhood and an even rougher lifestyle growing into my teens."
We kept walking. He was listening intently but seemed like he still wasn't so sure about me.
"I was engaged to be married by my seventeenth birthday but the night before my wedding I was kidnapped."
He looked to me in surprise.
"I was placed as an indentured servant in a trading charter, seen by many of the soldiers stationed on the coast of the capitol. That went on for a while and when I had reached my twenty fifth birthday I had earned my freedom."
He motioned to a small cafe on the strip and I nodded, him holding the door as we stepped in, the warmth engulfing both of us.
"Do you want a drink?"
He asked and I nodded.
"How about I get this one."
I offered, ordering before him and paying after him. When we had gotten our drinks we took to a booth in the very back of the cafe.
"So, you were free..."
He started and I let out a short laugh.
"Nice to know you're listening."
I said and he raised his cup to me. I cleared my throat.
"I was free, finally. It felt like forever to get there. But by then I was seen as too old; too old to Mary, to have kids, to live a life on my own. Many assumed I was a widow at this point, even moving back to new York with as progressive as it was still didn't feel right. It didn't feel like home anymore. Until I met him."
He raised a brow and I smiled to myself.
"My first real love, the one who made me."
"No pressure."
He said and I laughed, taking his one hand in mine. His body tensed.
"Don't worry, he's been dead a while."
I said, letting him go and he nodded once.
"Right."
I side nodded.
"Well to make that long story short, he proposed to me after two weeks of courting, we got married the following spring, and on our honeymoon he revealed to me what he really was."
"A crime boss?"
Bucky said and I laughed, him finally loosening up a bit as he took another drink.
"I think that would've been easier to live with but no. And I ask that you please don't laugh at this next part but rather, hear me out."
He rested both his hands on either side of his cup and gave me his full attention.
"Cross my heart."
He said and I sighed.
"He revealed to me that he was undead, that he was a vampire of sorts."
When I looked to him he looked like he was going to crack.
"I'm serious."
I said light hearted, hitting his shoulder as he started laughing.
"He turned me before our trip back to the city."
He nodded, rubbing his eye as he settled down, the smile still prevalent on his features.
"Sure."
I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Now who's mocking who?"
I asked and he shook his head.
"It's just a little hard to believe is all. You seem like such a normal young woman. Maybe a history buff who digs this old man but still."
I snorted at his words, taking a drink.
"You are young in my eyes bucky, believe me."
He shook his head.
"Okay, this is what, 1840?"
"Forty two i think, but yeah."
He sent me a look.
"Let me just get back to the story okay?"
He held his hands up in defense.
"Please, by all means."
I playfully rolled my eyes.
"Thank you. Now we were home, I was a newby and was so hungry all the time. He was terrible at taming a new vampire and I did eat a few of our neighbors but we lived in a bad part of town so people didn't really question it much when residents went missing. But what I didn't realize is that we were being watched and one day when I came home from work I found my husband decapitated on our living room floor."
His eyes went wide.
"I cried like a maniac but when I had heard someone still in the apartment I attacked them. They told me they were assigned to kill me because I was too dangerous. I ended him and I've been on the run ever since. After that I was desperate to find new love again. I've had courtships over the years but the early 1900's were pretty rough. Every husband I ever had was drafted into a war that shouldn't have happened. And I don't fear for my life as much anymore since I've lived in almost every state in this stupid country,"
We both laughed a little at that.
"But I do think of it often. The later years, the eighties and nineties were much easier as far as life and lovers went but even then I couldn't stay with them long."
He seemed empathetic.
"Why not?"
"Well, many people don't employ the idea that you'll live longer than them, it's a losing game. And even those I was open with, they begged me to turn them but I always refused. It didn't seem worth it to put the hurt I felt onto anyone else. And I don't say this to scare you off bucky but I've lived, and I mean really lived. I had one husband murdered, three drafted and lost to war, and three divorces; two of which ended with my exs dying of natural causes shortly after getting into new relationships. One had a heart attack and the other passed during a surgery."
I paused, looking to the table as his eyes tried to study me.
"Ive heard about you, I've been to the Smithsonian exhibit and honestly it all seemed like a myth. But then your friend saw me and pushed you to ask me out I actually saw hope for the first time in a long time. It's not often I can find someone with as much... Uh, life experience."
He cleared his throat, looking away when I looked back up to him.
"I'm not perfect."
He said and I could feel my features soften.
"It's seems I've lived just as much but I don't know if I'd exactly call it living. I was an experiment, an assassin, and a broken man. I've got a troubled past and I'm trying to work through that. Hell I wasn't even sure I'd get through this date given how my last one went."
I half smiled at him, reaching for his hand again. He wasn't as hesitant as last time but was still tense as I took it away from his cup. I looked over his face before pulling the glove off, holding the cool metal against my palm and tracing the fingers of my other hand over it.
"I wasn't blipped, I saw the news, and I saw what was lost. And I think part of you got lost with it but at the end of the day you are trying to get better. You are a hero bucky, even if it doesn't feel like it."
I watched as his jaw clenched and tightened. Then he turned his hand over and held mine. It wasn't hard or uncomfortable but it was firm, like he meant it.
"I haven't had the luxury of opening up to many people in recent times but you feel different. And don't take this the wrong way but you do feel like home."
He said softly and I couldn't help the smile making its way to my lips.
"You wanna get out of here? Maybe go back to my place? The coffee is much better."
I joked and he smiled, intertwining our fingers.
"Yeah, I think id like that."
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cynic-spirit · 4 years ago
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The word Series (5) Kairos – The perfect, delicate, crucial moment, that creates the perfect atmosphere
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…………………………………………………She………………………………………………………………….
At the party She mingled with a few people. Her aunt introduced her to both Jack and Alyssha. After grabbing her drink she goes around and admires the house. The wall full of photographs intrigued her and one of the photos got her attention and surprised her. It was that of Jack with the man she had met before. It was Jack with Sy. They were in uniform with what looked liked in a desert. She admired Sy, not much has changed, except the fact that now Sy has glasses. He still looks as good as before. It made sense to her now. Looking at him she had an idea he would be in some work where he would use his strength. It makes sense that he was in the army. She wouldnShe’t admit it out loud but this impressed her and made her slightly blush. In comparison, the Sy with glasses looked like a badass geek. She thought of all their meetings, Sy was intimidating but also kind of awkward. She thought about his life, he has seen so many deaths and destruction, probably. Maybe she passed a judgement on him too soon. She too has seen people assuming things about her. Often people thought of her as arrogant when she was just shy and anxious. She inferred that if Jack and Sy are close, then she would definitely meet him today at the party. She will try to be more pleasant with him this time.
………………………………………………….Sy……………………………………………………………………..
Sy is at the party trying to talk with people. He wants to mingle but somehow cannot. He takes a mug of beer and goes to the pool table to play with his brother in law. The party is a small affair. It is evening and there is light music playing in the background. He is calmer in comparison to the last two days. Sy decides that once the party is over he would talk to his sister about whatever happened and ask for an advice.
Sy looks around their house. It is wonderfully decorated. Flowers all over. It is almost unlike the style of her sister who is often loud in her taste of decoration. All her previous parties had weird lights and decorative pieces. Flowers have given their home a beautiful intimate feel. Sy doesn’t even know the names of half the flowers but they look beautiful and they smell heavenly. He is smelling one of the lilies when he hears the voice of Alyssha
Never thought you to be the one who liked flowers Sy
Sy turns around and smiles at her
Never thought you to be the one having them Aly
I take it you like the decoration?
Its more beautiful than the house! Where did you get all these flowers??
Remember Jack’s nanny?
Yeah? Don’t tell me that old woman grows all these! Sy chuckles
Actually, her niece, she grows all these, quite talented has a degree and everything. You gotta meet her. Maybe you’ll like her.
(I am in love with a nameless woman already sis, Sy thinks)
Is she here?
Yeah, she must be somewhere around, quite shy. Doesn’t talk much.
Alyssha looks around the house. Her eyes settle in one direction.
Oh there she is.
Sy looks in the direction and cannot believe his eyes. (Oh Fuck me!!! He thinks. Its his mystery woman. No, no, no, it wont be my sister telling me her name. I gotta ask her myself. He turns to his sister
Aly why don’t you attend your party, I’ll introduce myself.
All right cool
After she leaves, Sy composes himself. All right, no poop talk, no fleas, no toilet paper. Go over there Sy and greet. Ask her the name and probably let her talk first. Sy decides in his mind as he saunters in her direction. Onto the battlefield soldier! Sy mutters under his breath. As he walks to her he realized how beautiful she looked. Skirt, top, open hair, Yeah, she has totally floored him.
Sy goes to her. She sees him and his presence makes her gasp.
Hi, we meet again
Umm.. hi.. …
Okay before anything, please tell me your name I have to know your name first. Sy rambles quickly.
(wao Sy, great way to extort someone’s name, he says to himself)
You don’t know my name yet? (She sounded surprised)
No! you haven’t told me….. yet. Sy says with a smile, finally behaving a little human
Oh, I am so sorry about that. I didn’t realize.
That’s all right. It happens.
There is a small moment of silence between them and Sy says.
So…? Sy breaks the silence
Ivona……. Ivona Marianne Hill.
Ivona, Sy tests her name. (what a beautiful name Sy thought)
You have a beautiful name. You have no idea how great it feels to finally put a name to your face. I have been thinking about it since we met, but something or the other kept interrupting our conversation.
(Stop rambling you doofus, let her talk for once, Sy pauses)
…..I guess. (she shrugs and looks down)
Are you here alone Ivona?
No I came with my aunt, she used to babysit Jack.
Wao, small world. Jack is my brother in law.
Oh.. nice.
Wait, that means you supplied these flowers?
Yes.
They are beautiful. I have never seen some of them in these parts.
Thank you. ………………….I have a small farm, I grow orchids, lilies, roses and some other varieties there.
You didn’t bring Cerberus.
She smiled and looked down again and Sy felt his heartbeat rise.
No, I didn’t think it would be appropriate to bring him here. Its not necessary my aunt is here with me.
If you don’t mind me asking, why is he your service dog.
Its okay Sy, I have severe anxiety and sometimes in large crowds I get panic attacks. He helps me get by.
I am sorry to hear that. I hope the party is not overwhelming
No its not. Its actually nice to meet a few people here. Did you come alone here Sy?
Yes. Who would come with me. (Sy finally felt better to make conversation with her)
Your girlfriend?
My Girlfriend? (My girlfriend, who the fuck is my girlfriend, I want YOU to be my girlfriend Sy thinks)
The girl from the library?
She is not my girlfriend. She was just.. I don’t know what she was doing. But she is definitely not my girlfriend, Ivona.
Oh. I am sorry for assuming.
Its fine. Its fine. Everybody assumes. Not that I am saying that about you. I mean, its okay to make inferences based on certain observations which I did when I met you. It wasn’t anything bad, it was just observation. More like putting skills at work, I used to do that, when I was in the army, I am not now, I have been relieved honorably. Also sorry for the toilet paper and the fleas. I didn’t mean to talk about it. My dog is fine now. I bought everything I need from the store…
At that moment Sy saw her look at him with an open-mouthed expression and realized he had been babbling again and not making any sense. He immediately stopped talking and pinched the bridge of his nose.
I messed up again, didn’t I? Sy said.
Its okay Sy, We all get nervous sometimes. Although I don’t understand why you would be nervous around me.
Sy was finally able to breathe now. Could this woman be any more perfect than she already is? Between the two of them, he was the confident army guy and she was the one with anxieties and it was her calming him. Sy chuckled.
I think I am just rusty around people. Have been in the army most of my life.
What were you in the army?
I was in the sniper unit.
It sounds both amazing and tedious.
You are not wrong about that Ivona. (Sy just loved saying her name. Ivona, Ivona, he could chant it like a prayer. Ivy for short? Ivo? Iva? Iv? Honestly, at that moment, he was just so happy to think anything else)
It was unexpected to see you again here Sy. Nice to meet you. I have to go now. I have to attend to the plants.
Can I see ya again? Sy spoke immediately.
Oh? Why?
Just to talk maybe?
All right. But I cant commit a time or date. Lots of work in the garden with the new seeds and flowers.
I can come there. Will that be okay with you?
You want to visit my flower farm?
Judging by the flowers decorated here, I think it would be beautiful. (Sy managed another smile from her)
All right Sy, its nearby. Just ask anyone for Hill’s Heartland. It’s the name of my flower farm.
Ill see you.
Bye Sy.
Bye Ivona.
Sy watched her as she left. This party has been successful for him. Everything was just perfect now. He finished his beer, put down the mug. After talking to a few of the people in the party, he too left, but this ride was different. Sy was humming as he drove back. Ivona, he said aloud again. He opened the door and put the keys in he bowl. He fed his dogs again, Django, Kal, Aika, Major, and Tuff. After changing, he laid on his bed, thinking of her. She had a beautiful name and she made him comfortable. He realized one thing, he might have killed so many people In the army as a sniper, but he had never thought that talking to someone would be so difficult. Ivona had a condition, yet she managed to show both empathy and encouragement to hi. She talked to him without malice and judgement. Life certainly has its ways to surprise someone. Hill’s Heartland, what a beautiful name for a garden. He will definitely visit her the next day and take two of his dogs, Kal and Aika, the oldest ones. They know how to behave around ladies. With these thoughts, Sy fell asleep peacefully for the first time ever.
@oddsnendsfanfics @omgkatinka @kmuir1 @agniavateira @readermia
@awesomeidiot32 @rmtndew @mis-lil-red​
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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 4 years ago
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oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)
ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking    of   replacements    fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off
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